The good news is that I'm sub 235. That was a milestone for me. And I really did not ever think I would be at this weight. That bad news is that I'm still in the same general area. For the past month, I've been fluctuating between 233-225 and it's been kinda frustrating. Thanks to the support and the info that I read about all the time, I know it's common, and it take patience to bust through the plateau.
Through the research that I have done over the Internet about weight loss, and all aspects of it, I knew this was expected. To sum it up, everyone always reaches a plateau because after initial weight loss, the body wants to stay at a certain weight, because it's trying to balance out energy input and output. So it recalibrates at a certain weight. So knowing that, I knew that my current regimen that I was doing with my caloric intake was not going to cut it anymore. I could blame it on being the holiday season, and actually could be proud that I didn't gain anything significant over the season. But I was doing so good and to stop was kinda frustrating. But I also knew the whole time in the back of my head that I was on a plateau. I had a hypothesis. The body fat percentage I have now, I believe is the one I've had most of my life, especially in my youth. When I started to play more sports, I leaned out, and even though I was still overweight, I had a solid frame. I played running back in high school because I was big and had good speed. I feel that I'm at the body fat that I was in high school, but I was about 210-215. I'm currently at 230. So this is the body fat I think my body remembers and wants to stay at. So for me to lose weight, especially the final 25-30 pounds, I'm gonna have to work a little harder. This means that I have to be a bit more disciplined in my workout regimen and my intake. So last week, I made a change to lower my intake to 1400-1600 calories instead of my 1600-1900. And just that little change got me down to 228.5. So I'm optimistic about the results that I will see. My birthday is coming up, and have a goal to get to 223-225 by then. So if you're on your journey, and you experience this, this is when your mind comes into play. You have a few choices...you can give up, say you can't do it, and go back to your old self...you can say you're satisfied with your current weight and live and workout to stay at maintenance, or you can just fight through it and say you're determined to change your body, and work a little hard and be more focused on your weight loss. All I have to say is that you've come this far, and you feel much better, so why not go ahead and continue. And all it will take it just a few months of work. Then when you get to your ideal weight, you can live a maintenance lifestyle, but be more fit.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
How is your confidence?
Something crazy is happening to me right now. And in a weight loss journey, this can happen. I can't remember any time in my life where I have been more confident in myself. Yes, alot has to do with losing weight, but a lot has to do with just being happy with the person that I am. There is a clear difference in my thinking, and the way I approach the world.
I can remember in high school, I was always pretty confident, but I was a kid. I was just going about life as a teenager. I really started losing a lot of confidence after high school, because there was no more sports, and I was getting bigger. Getting in to college was a confidence booster, but my lack of female interaction really hampered my confidence. Plus, I was getting up in weight, and out of shape. Not looking like my old self when I was in high school. Towards the end of school, and the years after, my confidence was at a all time low. I did a lot of soul searching and through years of personal therapy, I feel like a new me. Still the same person...the happy go lucky, always smiling, sympathetic to other people's needs type of person that I developed through my earlier years, but a more confident man. I believe that God makes everything happen for a reason. Because going through most of my life as an overweight or obese man, you see life differently. You develop a defense mechanism to hide your insecurities. Always being nice, because you feel that deep down in side, you have nothing to offer, so you're overly nice to people, especially women. And they do sense things like that. Women are very intuitive. They can see if a man is confident or not. And my lack of women was due to my confidence. But like I said, after a lot of soul searching, my confidence came back. A lot of it had to do with overcoming my insecurities and being more happy in my own skin. Even before I started dating more than I've ever had in my life, when I became more confident, then the weight loss process was easier, and meeting more women became much easier. It's kinda hard to explain, because you would think that being more happy in my own skin, then I should of been happy with my weight at the time. But I wasn't, because I wanted to reflect a confident man, and there is a stigma with looking more fit, especially with women. Granted that no matter how you look, if you exude confidence, then you are bound to find a woman. But for men who look fit, it comes a lot easier, and that's just the cold hard truth. Plus the have a wider selection of women to weed out, and find the right one. But with that confidence and that need to lose weight, the process became easier because I was OK with being patient about the process. In the past, I wasn't patient. I wanted quick results, and if none was shown, I just gave up. But I looked at dieting different. Instead of looking at it for a period of time, I wanted to change my lifestyle, and how looked at food. Instead exercising to lose weight, I looked at it as training to be a fit human being, and do the things I love to get peace of mind. With that process, the weight started shedding off, and the confidence grew.
It is like it's night and day for me in terms of my confidence. And for you Big Dawg, it's time for you to look inside and do some soul searching. Because the mind is the first muscle to get in shape for a weight loss journey. But if you have patience, and trust the process and science of weight loss, you will lose weight. And I can't explain how great life is now sense I've started my journey. You have to experience it yourself. Because of the life I led as an insecure obese man, I have a new appreciation of life. And the lessons I learned from that life is making me a better man for the life I'm living now, and in the future. I'm still a nice guy, but I'm confident, and whatever they say about nice guy finish last is bullshit. Because again, the stigma with nice guys is that they're overly nice because they're insecure. I definitely a man that will more times than I used to speak up, and said what needs to be said, and not care what anyone thinks. And that mentality helps with meeting women, because once you get that you're not gonna impress everyone, then you quit trying, and just be yourself. Some people gonna like you...some won't. And for woman, just have the mentality of if she turns me down, then she's missing out...then you won't care, and meeting women is much more easier. I urge you, if you're ready to make a change, then do it...because it is well worth it.
I can remember in high school, I was always pretty confident, but I was a kid. I was just going about life as a teenager. I really started losing a lot of confidence after high school, because there was no more sports, and I was getting bigger. Getting in to college was a confidence booster, but my lack of female interaction really hampered my confidence. Plus, I was getting up in weight, and out of shape. Not looking like my old self when I was in high school. Towards the end of school, and the years after, my confidence was at a all time low. I did a lot of soul searching and through years of personal therapy, I feel like a new me. Still the same person...the happy go lucky, always smiling, sympathetic to other people's needs type of person that I developed through my earlier years, but a more confident man. I believe that God makes everything happen for a reason. Because going through most of my life as an overweight or obese man, you see life differently. You develop a defense mechanism to hide your insecurities. Always being nice, because you feel that deep down in side, you have nothing to offer, so you're overly nice to people, especially women. And they do sense things like that. Women are very intuitive. They can see if a man is confident or not. And my lack of women was due to my confidence. But like I said, after a lot of soul searching, my confidence came back. A lot of it had to do with overcoming my insecurities and being more happy in my own skin. Even before I started dating more than I've ever had in my life, when I became more confident, then the weight loss process was easier, and meeting more women became much easier. It's kinda hard to explain, because you would think that being more happy in my own skin, then I should of been happy with my weight at the time. But I wasn't, because I wanted to reflect a confident man, and there is a stigma with looking more fit, especially with women. Granted that no matter how you look, if you exude confidence, then you are bound to find a woman. But for men who look fit, it comes a lot easier, and that's just the cold hard truth. Plus the have a wider selection of women to weed out, and find the right one. But with that confidence and that need to lose weight, the process became easier because I was OK with being patient about the process. In the past, I wasn't patient. I wanted quick results, and if none was shown, I just gave up. But I looked at dieting different. Instead of looking at it for a period of time, I wanted to change my lifestyle, and how looked at food. Instead exercising to lose weight, I looked at it as training to be a fit human being, and do the things I love to get peace of mind. With that process, the weight started shedding off, and the confidence grew.
It is like it's night and day for me in terms of my confidence. And for you Big Dawg, it's time for you to look inside and do some soul searching. Because the mind is the first muscle to get in shape for a weight loss journey. But if you have patience, and trust the process and science of weight loss, you will lose weight. And I can't explain how great life is now sense I've started my journey. You have to experience it yourself. Because of the life I led as an insecure obese man, I have a new appreciation of life. And the lessons I learned from that life is making me a better man for the life I'm living now, and in the future. I'm still a nice guy, but I'm confident, and whatever they say about nice guy finish last is bullshit. Because again, the stigma with nice guys is that they're overly nice because they're insecure. I definitely a man that will more times than I used to speak up, and said what needs to be said, and not care what anyone thinks. And that mentality helps with meeting women, because once you get that you're not gonna impress everyone, then you quit trying, and just be yourself. Some people gonna like you...some won't. And for woman, just have the mentality of if she turns me down, then she's missing out...then you won't care, and meeting women is much more easier. I urge you, if you're ready to make a change, then do it...because it is well worth it.
Friday, December 18, 2009
For the first time in my life, I'm semi-happy with my body...
This morning was definitely one like no other. As you may have read, I've been on a weight loss journey that has shown recent success, but for my whole life, I've had body image issues. From my weight, to my penis size, there was always something that made me feel not sexy at all, and had nothing to offer. I always remember from when I was a kid never being satisfied with the way I look. I thought I was a decent looking man, but my weight always made me feel unattractive. Yes, I did some things that gave me confidence like sports, and as a teen, I did have my fair share of women. But not as much as I could of, because of my insecurties. This morning had me thinking of how long it has been since I've been satisfied with what I'm seeing in the mirror, and all I can think is I have never been satisfied with what I was seeing in the mirror. It's kind of sad when I think about it. I was able to deal with it more as a kid and teen, but in my 20s, it was pretty bad. I remember always saying I need to lose weight, blah blah blah. But never knew how to go about it, and I was too impatient. I hated every inch of fat on my body, and still do. It drove me crazy, and I was in denial for a long time about my body. Always trying to hide it in my clothes. Never able to take off my shirt in public. When I got in my 20s, and my weight was really getting out of control, the constant rejection I recieved really took its toll. But I blame myself for not having any confidence in myself. And was just insecure about alot of things. I never thought I could ever be the man that I know I could be. Maybe alot of it had to do with never having a dominant male figure in my life to show me how a man is supposed to be, and carry himself. My mom, bless her heart, is a woman. A religious woman at that, trying to show me how to carry myself. I think she did a great job in raising a moral man, because my morals come from her. But the other little things I had to learn for myself. And that learning came really late for me. Things like discpline, practice, patience, who a man should carry himself, how to impress a woman, etc. are things that a dominant male figure should tell a young boy. A collection of things that led to me living an undisciplined life. But even with the way my life shaped, all I can say is I am grateful for life.
I'm a true believer in everything happens for a reason.
For the first time in my life, I can say that I'm semi-happy with my body. As I'm looking in the mirror this morning, I'm seeing changes in my body, and the hard work is really paying off. Even recently, since I have been losing my body fat, the changes weren't too noticable unless I was on a scale or measuring inches on my waist. But now, I see my skin tightening, face getting smaller, seeing the outline of my torso. It's really a trip to me. I haven't been this weight since high school, but I definitely have more lean muscle mass which is looking good as I lose body fat. I really think that for the first time ever in my life, I can take off my shirt with confidence. Listen, I know my body isn't perfect, and even when I get to my ideal weight and body fat, that it won't either. The point is that I do want to look fit. Even if I do have stretch marks that I will have for the rest of my life, I will use them as a reminder of where I don't ever wanna go again. Plus, I'm hoping that they will become less noticable as my skin gets more tightened, but I won't trip if it doesn't. I know I have alot more to go. I'm sitting at around 35-26% bodyfat and weighing 232 (I've gained about 5 pounds in the past couple of weeks, and it seems tha I've kinda plateaued. I was worried at first, but I'm losing inches around my waist, we leads me to believe that I'm gaining muscle which is great. Because even with the weight gain, I see noticable changes in my body). My goal is to get to about 15% bodyfat. With my unscientific calculations, I expect to be around 215-200 range to be at that.
Body image I believe is key to the well being of the human mind. Everyone wants to be percieved in a postive manner. I believe that because I thought I was hideous in the mirror, I would overcompensate by being nice to people. But there are alot of people who are percieved well by themselves when the look in the mirror. It took alot of soul searching, even before my weight loss of the past few months to get that. Instead of hating what I saw in the mirror, and believing this was the way the cards were dealt to me, I started to say that I liked what I see in the mirror, but was not satisfied with some of the things that I knew I could control like my body fat. So as the perception of myself got better, everything else came in place. I have never be more sexually confident than I've been in the past few months. Because I let alot of my insecurties go and it has paid dividends, and I have never been happier in my life. I'm still am not satified by what I see in the mirror, and I think that is a postive thing, because even though I'm ok with how I look now, I know I can do alot better. I'm still a little insecure about my body, but not hating it as much. I think insecurities is the mind's way of saying that something is not right about yourself, and you need to do something about it if you can. Some things you can't, and you must try to move past them. For an example, my penis size was something I was very insecure about. But when I decided that if I continue this thought, I will be a lonely man, and never have kids like I always wanted, I later found out that not only was my mind in my way, but I was very much well endowed. I think watching porn, and going to the gym made me too insecure about my size. I know that why I'm not on "rock", it's nothing to right home to mama about (kinda weird), but when it's game time, I'm very well endowed, and have been complimented lately on my penis. And making a woman cum has to be the best feeling for a man. I've been doing that consistantly with my partners, which lets me know that I can get the job done. My body image has improved because of my sexual confidence now. Actually now that I think about it, my sexual confidence has surpassed the confidence I have in my body, but getting my body in shape is a longer process. But my overall body image is a postive one for the first time in my life, and I can't tell you how happy I am. The things in the past that would get me down, don't get me down as much as it used to. I really feel like that I'm the man I always wanted to be. Yes, I'm still learning as always, but I think I'm finally at that point in my life where I wanna be mentally.
When I think of the saying, that everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that. I try to think of the life I could of had if I was in shape, and had a better body image of myself. I may have done things differently, may have had a different personality, other things of that nature I wonder how I would of been. But to me, it seems that I'm reborn, and the life ahead is gonna be great. It seems that I have the sexual libido of a 18 year old, and I'm almost 30. I wonder if having so much sex and doing it so many ways could stall your sex drive compared to your age. Just my hypothesis, because it seems that I can go on for a while, and it amazes me. When I write this, I hope that there something that strikes a nerve with you as I'm pretty much pouring out my guts in this blog. Something that I can't do or talk about with any of my closest friends or family. I just hope that through my reflection, that you can see that I was just like you, and that I'm no more special than you. I just decided to put a little more self discipline in my life, and that you can do it too. I've overcomed what you are going through, and still on my journey to a better me. And I know this is so cliche, but fuck it. If I can do it. I know anyone can...
I'm a true believer in everything happens for a reason.
For the first time in my life, I can say that I'm semi-happy with my body. As I'm looking in the mirror this morning, I'm seeing changes in my body, and the hard work is really paying off. Even recently, since I have been losing my body fat, the changes weren't too noticable unless I was on a scale or measuring inches on my waist. But now, I see my skin tightening, face getting smaller, seeing the outline of my torso. It's really a trip to me. I haven't been this weight since high school, but I definitely have more lean muscle mass which is looking good as I lose body fat. I really think that for the first time ever in my life, I can take off my shirt with confidence. Listen, I know my body isn't perfect, and even when I get to my ideal weight and body fat, that it won't either. The point is that I do want to look fit. Even if I do have stretch marks that I will have for the rest of my life, I will use them as a reminder of where I don't ever wanna go again. Plus, I'm hoping that they will become less noticable as my skin gets more tightened, but I won't trip if it doesn't. I know I have alot more to go. I'm sitting at around 35-26% bodyfat and weighing 232 (I've gained about 5 pounds in the past couple of weeks, and it seems tha I've kinda plateaued. I was worried at first, but I'm losing inches around my waist, we leads me to believe that I'm gaining muscle which is great. Because even with the weight gain, I see noticable changes in my body). My goal is to get to about 15% bodyfat. With my unscientific calculations, I expect to be around 215-200 range to be at that.
Body image I believe is key to the well being of the human mind. Everyone wants to be percieved in a postive manner. I believe that because I thought I was hideous in the mirror, I would overcompensate by being nice to people. But there are alot of people who are percieved well by themselves when the look in the mirror. It took alot of soul searching, even before my weight loss of the past few months to get that. Instead of hating what I saw in the mirror, and believing this was the way the cards were dealt to me, I started to say that I liked what I see in the mirror, but was not satisfied with some of the things that I knew I could control like my body fat. So as the perception of myself got better, everything else came in place. I have never be more sexually confident than I've been in the past few months. Because I let alot of my insecurties go and it has paid dividends, and I have never been happier in my life. I'm still am not satified by what I see in the mirror, and I think that is a postive thing, because even though I'm ok with how I look now, I know I can do alot better. I'm still a little insecure about my body, but not hating it as much. I think insecurities is the mind's way of saying that something is not right about yourself, and you need to do something about it if you can. Some things you can't, and you must try to move past them. For an example, my penis size was something I was very insecure about. But when I decided that if I continue this thought, I will be a lonely man, and never have kids like I always wanted, I later found out that not only was my mind in my way, but I was very much well endowed. I think watching porn, and going to the gym made me too insecure about my size. I know that why I'm not on "rock", it's nothing to right home to mama about (kinda weird), but when it's game time, I'm very well endowed, and have been complimented lately on my penis. And making a woman cum has to be the best feeling for a man. I've been doing that consistantly with my partners, which lets me know that I can get the job done. My body image has improved because of my sexual confidence now. Actually now that I think about it, my sexual confidence has surpassed the confidence I have in my body, but getting my body in shape is a longer process. But my overall body image is a postive one for the first time in my life, and I can't tell you how happy I am. The things in the past that would get me down, don't get me down as much as it used to. I really feel like that I'm the man I always wanted to be. Yes, I'm still learning as always, but I think I'm finally at that point in my life where I wanna be mentally.
When I think of the saying, that everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that. I try to think of the life I could of had if I was in shape, and had a better body image of myself. I may have done things differently, may have had a different personality, other things of that nature I wonder how I would of been. But to me, it seems that I'm reborn, and the life ahead is gonna be great. It seems that I have the sexual libido of a 18 year old, and I'm almost 30. I wonder if having so much sex and doing it so many ways could stall your sex drive compared to your age. Just my hypothesis, because it seems that I can go on for a while, and it amazes me. When I write this, I hope that there something that strikes a nerve with you as I'm pretty much pouring out my guts in this blog. Something that I can't do or talk about with any of my closest friends or family. I just hope that through my reflection, that you can see that I was just like you, and that I'm no more special than you. I just decided to put a little more self discipline in my life, and that you can do it too. I've overcomed what you are going through, and still on my journey to a better me. And I know this is so cliche, but fuck it. If I can do it. I know anyone can...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Why I feel that I'm not on a diet
When people tell me I'm losing weight, and how I'm dieting, I kinda cringe, because I really hate calling my weight loss journey a diet, because to be honest, it really doesn't feel like I'm on one. In our society, the word diet comes with so much baggage. Pain, shame, challenge, etc. When we think of someone on a diet, we think of someone eating lettuce leaf, fight craving tooth and nail, and running miles to get in shape. Now, my lazy, video playing ass wouldn't be caught dead running miles and just eating vegetables all day. But this is the vision I had in my mind every time I thought about dieting was the struggle that it was going to be.
Boy, was I wrong.
This thought, along with my lack of knowledge about weight loss more than often led me to say fuck it, and say, "well, this is the way I'm gonna be my whole life, better learn to love it..." or try, and give up on the diet after a few days or weeks. But it's funny what motivation can do for you. If you read my journey post, then you will know what things that happened in my life to motivate me. These things led me to wanna change my life. And that is the point I want to make. This is why I don't feel like I'm on a diet, because a diet to me, and I'm sure most of you means the things I mentioned, but it also meant that it was a temporary thing. The way I'm eating and exercising now is something I can easily see myself doing for he rest of my life. I really enjoy the foods that I eat now. And what is intoxicating is the energy and the geniuine happiness I feel right now in my life from just eating better, and doing exercises that I love to do. It's like an addiction, but a good one. I really understand is being happy in your own skin and have a better body image of yourself is the key to happiness. I'm way more intimate relations with the women because of the confidence in myself that I have. Just thinking about last year around this time, how messed up I really was. But only now, do I realize how down I was. I thought that life was a motherfucka, and you're played the cards you're dealt. But it doesn't have to be. Once I started realizing that, then the skies have been the limit. The thing I love is when people who only see me from time to time compliment me on how great I'm looking. It is motivating, because you know you're making progress. But what is really motivating is that you know that I'm not done yet. 2 years ago, I was at 290 (may have been more, but this was when I got on the scale and said "oh fuck!") and at the beginning of this year, I was around 280. I'm down to 227 when writing this. I really started hear the compliments when I got sub 240, and that kept me rolling. Then finding Mr. Low Body Fat gave me the support to keep pushing.
I this moment in my life, I eat to live, not live to eat. That was my former self. I guess you can say I was only a boy mentally until recently. I had to go through some struggles personally to get where I am right now. And even though I was always a good person, I was sad for years and didn't even realize it. I really have a new zest for life. Sucks that I had to get like this toward the end of my 20s, but I plan on having an awesome rest of my life. All of this, because I'm losing weight. I feel more energetic, which makes it easy to do things in life. I'm having more sex than I've had my whole life combined. All because of my weight loss. Big Dawg, if you take this journey, and get your mind right, you can feel the same thing. The funny thing is that in the past, I wanted weight loss to be quick, painless, and easy and was to naive to the fact that patience and practice are important virtues to have. Practice, because losing weight requires some practice, because I don't think anyone can just completely change the way they eat over night. I remember back when I would try to attempt losing weight, that weekend was a smorgasbord of whatever I wanted to eat, since I was going on a diet that Monday. And the night before, I would dread the next day because of the not so tasty foods I was going to have to eat now. But in this weight loss journey, it was a gradual progression, and the researching, and motivating factors that are driving me. And plus with my knowledge, I know that it is a simple process that we have overcomplicated (have to remember to write about the conspiracy theory I have about obesity in America). Now, I love the foods I eat, because it's the foods that I've always loved, but never had the patience to buy and cook my foods. I look forward to my workouts, because I love challenging myself. And seeing the results of my hard work helps enormously. Patience because this should be no rush. To get where you want to get in terms of your body is not quick fix. You shouldn't look at your progression from day to day, or even week to week. Think more in months. If you're too impatient to wait a few months, then you are doomed to fail. If you look at success stories, you can see that people can loss significant weight within a year. Some guy loss 200 pounds on the biggest loser in 8 months. I think that's a little extreme, but you get my drift. Even without excersising, you can lose a lot of weight within a year. But even with that said, my advice would be not to even trip. What I do is monitor my weight and take mental notes. I only have pictures to show my weight a month ago. No notes, or anything. But I can see with my own eyes the changes I see in the mirror. I think this journey is kinda cool, and in no rush to get it over with. Maintaining the weight seems like it's gonna be boring. Trying to keep my intake below 1800 is at times challenging, but I succeed on more days than others. Some days, I'm way below. Some days, I'm right at it. And there are those rare days that I exceed that. But that's the challenge in this. I'm not saying that I feel terrible when I eat an I-N-Out burger, but when I start to think of the food I ate for the day, I do kinda take note that my intake was over 1800 and I have to do better the next day. But on those days, my intake was probably only 2200, which only means that my deficit won't be that much on that day, but I'm still losing weight. The compliments I receive from family and friends feels great. And can't wait until months from now where I'm at my ideal body fat percentage and how ecstatic I'm gonna be. With all of that in mind, that is why I don't feel like I'm on a diet.
Boy, was I wrong.
This thought, along with my lack of knowledge about weight loss more than often led me to say fuck it, and say, "well, this is the way I'm gonna be my whole life, better learn to love it..." or try, and give up on the diet after a few days or weeks. But it's funny what motivation can do for you. If you read my journey post, then you will know what things that happened in my life to motivate me. These things led me to wanna change my life. And that is the point I want to make. This is why I don't feel like I'm on a diet, because a diet to me, and I'm sure most of you means the things I mentioned, but it also meant that it was a temporary thing. The way I'm eating and exercising now is something I can easily see myself doing for he rest of my life. I really enjoy the foods that I eat now. And what is intoxicating is the energy and the geniuine happiness I feel right now in my life from just eating better, and doing exercises that I love to do. It's like an addiction, but a good one. I really understand is being happy in your own skin and have a better body image of yourself is the key to happiness. I'm way more intimate relations with the women because of the confidence in myself that I have. Just thinking about last year around this time, how messed up I really was. But only now, do I realize how down I was. I thought that life was a motherfucka, and you're played the cards you're dealt. But it doesn't have to be. Once I started realizing that, then the skies have been the limit. The thing I love is when people who only see me from time to time compliment me on how great I'm looking. It is motivating, because you know you're making progress. But what is really motivating is that you know that I'm not done yet. 2 years ago, I was at 290 (may have been more, but this was when I got on the scale and said "oh fuck!") and at the beginning of this year, I was around 280. I'm down to 227 when writing this. I really started hear the compliments when I got sub 240, and that kept me rolling. Then finding Mr. Low Body Fat gave me the support to keep pushing.
I this moment in my life, I eat to live, not live to eat. That was my former self. I guess you can say I was only a boy mentally until recently. I had to go through some struggles personally to get where I am right now. And even though I was always a good person, I was sad for years and didn't even realize it. I really have a new zest for life. Sucks that I had to get like this toward the end of my 20s, but I plan on having an awesome rest of my life. All of this, because I'm losing weight. I feel more energetic, which makes it easy to do things in life. I'm having more sex than I've had my whole life combined. All because of my weight loss. Big Dawg, if you take this journey, and get your mind right, you can feel the same thing. The funny thing is that in the past, I wanted weight loss to be quick, painless, and easy and was to naive to the fact that patience and practice are important virtues to have. Practice, because losing weight requires some practice, because I don't think anyone can just completely change the way they eat over night. I remember back when I would try to attempt losing weight, that weekend was a smorgasbord of whatever I wanted to eat, since I was going on a diet that Monday. And the night before, I would dread the next day because of the not so tasty foods I was going to have to eat now. But in this weight loss journey, it was a gradual progression, and the researching, and motivating factors that are driving me. And plus with my knowledge, I know that it is a simple process that we have overcomplicated (have to remember to write about the conspiracy theory I have about obesity in America). Now, I love the foods I eat, because it's the foods that I've always loved, but never had the patience to buy and cook my foods. I look forward to my workouts, because I love challenging myself. And seeing the results of my hard work helps enormously. Patience because this should be no rush. To get where you want to get in terms of your body is not quick fix. You shouldn't look at your progression from day to day, or even week to week. Think more in months. If you're too impatient to wait a few months, then you are doomed to fail. If you look at success stories, you can see that people can loss significant weight within a year. Some guy loss 200 pounds on the biggest loser in 8 months. I think that's a little extreme, but you get my drift. Even without excersising, you can lose a lot of weight within a year. But even with that said, my advice would be not to even trip. What I do is monitor my weight and take mental notes. I only have pictures to show my weight a month ago. No notes, or anything. But I can see with my own eyes the changes I see in the mirror. I think this journey is kinda cool, and in no rush to get it over with. Maintaining the weight seems like it's gonna be boring. Trying to keep my intake below 1800 is at times challenging, but I succeed on more days than others. Some days, I'm way below. Some days, I'm right at it. And there are those rare days that I exceed that. But that's the challenge in this. I'm not saying that I feel terrible when I eat an I-N-Out burger, but when I start to think of the food I ate for the day, I do kinda take note that my intake was over 1800 and I have to do better the next day. But on those days, my intake was probably only 2200, which only means that my deficit won't be that much on that day, but I'm still losing weight. The compliments I receive from family and friends feels great. And can't wait until months from now where I'm at my ideal body fat percentage and how ecstatic I'm gonna be. With all of that in mind, that is why I don't feel like I'm on a diet.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Calories Count!
Whatever they tell you, this is the basic principle of weight loss. It's scientific law. If someone says that they don't count, they're BSing you. All the lose weight quick schemes are BS, or if it does work, it's not the weight you wanna lose. The more the caloric deficit you have, the more faster the weight you lose. And if you're doing it at a healthy and steady weight, you can lose 1-3 pounds a week! It's all science, and if you do your research, you can find alot of info the back up what I'm saying. But I'll try to explain it a nutshell, but read this to get a better understanding on the science behind it.
Energy can't disappear. It has to be used, or stored. Based on our individual metabolism, calories (energy) varies, and some burn more than others. So let's say that you burn 2700 calories a day. If you consume 3500 calories through food, than the remaining 800 calories is stored as fat. That's what you see around your belly. Energy that wasn't used, so it's stored on your body. And vice versa for fat loss. If you burn 2700 calories, and you consume 1700 calories, than the body will use other sources of energy since the food is not enough fuel the energy used in the day. So the body will take the fat from your body that was stored or even muscle protein to make up for that. That's how you lose weight. With that said, I know the goal is that you want to lose body fat, and keep lean muscle mass. It is important that if you want to lose weight, and keep lean muscle mass, lose the weight at a steady pace and eat plenty of lean protein. You see some folks that lose weight, but they just become a skinnier fat (i.e. Jared from Subway). That's because their lean muscle mass is not much. Maybe they're not working out much, or not getting a steady supply of protein. But this is something I will touch on a little bit later, but wanted to touch on that a bit.
Counting calories is easier said than done. There is no way to get an exact caloric calculation, because your metabolism varies day to day, and calorie counting is not an exact science. But you should be able to know what neighborhood your in. You should research different types of foods to get an approximate amount. But using the nutrition labels is very important if you get packaged foods. And also, if you decide get some fast food, before you go, go to their nutritional facts page to see about how many calories you're going to consume. But if you consume more whole foods (lean meats and veggies), then you know that you're caloric intake will always be not as much as getting some type of processed foods, fast foods, or foods high in carbs. Like for an example, an ideal day for me would be a veggie omelet with whole wheat English muffin on strawberry preserves. I know with eggs (2) being about 75 calories, and with the mixed veggies, I add 50 calories, and then for the muffin, I add 100 calories, I figure tha meal is about 300-350. Then the second meal, I try to make it the biggest meal of the day, since after this meal, will be the time where I will be the most active. So I'll eat a grilled chicken with a garden salad and mixed veggies which I figure around 400-500 calories. Then I might eat a Trader Joes burrito which is about 350, and then depending on my appetite, eat a 4th meal that I try to keep under 350 calories. So if I can keep my intake between 1500-1800 calories, then I know I will have a great calorie deficit that day. Nobody is perfect, and you shouldn't try to be. I just explained an ideal day. There are days where I might wanna get a big mac, or get a nice sandwich. That's fine, as long as I keep mind of what I ate. The other day, I had that egg omelet breakfast I talked about, but I a craving for a Whooper for my second meal. I got a Whooper with cheese, no mayo which is about 560 calories, small onion rings which is about 150 calories, and a diet coke which has 0 calories. That is 710 calories for that meal. With that in mind, I knew that my 3rd a 4th meal (if I have one) will have to be alot lower. I had a 350 calorie burrito later, and that was it. I consumed only 1400 calories that day! What tends to get people fat is that with the Whooper, they will get cheese, mayo, with a large fries and soda which could be almost a 1400 calorie meal. And they multiply that caloric intake over 3-4 meals a day, and have a lot of calories consumed for the day, way above what the body has burned. So what the key is to be consistent with your nutrition, because you can never go wrong by eating right. And you must get it into your mind of eating less, and eating better foods. If you can get those two things ingrained into your mind, the rest will come easy. And it will come to the point to where you might want to indulge once and a while, and that's fine. Some of the food that is high in calories are very good. But to indulge everyday all day is not a good way in trying to lose or maintain your weight. I indulged all the time throughout my life. I was very implusive, and lazy and didn't want to cook, so I would go out all the time. Even to this day, it's hard for me to eat out, because I tend to go for foods that I shouldn't be getting. I think it was Muata that said be mindful of your pitfalls. In other words, no what your kryptonite is that triggers eating habits that are good for you. Since I have that in mind, I make sure I spend alot of money on groceries, because I'm very good at just buying good food at the grocery store. I love going through the vegetable isle and picking out all the vegetables that I love. And sense I spent a good amount of money on food, I know there will be no reason for me to eat out, because I just spent that money on food.
So please, be mindful the amount of calories you are consuming. Even before you start "dieting" just start be counting the calories you're consuming now, or think is this meal good or bad. We're all men, and we know what we know which foods are better for us. I always think of this line: Eat for purpose, not for pleasure. Even though what I'm eating gives me alot of pleasure, I think of that line when I get cravings.
Energy can't disappear. It has to be used, or stored. Based on our individual metabolism, calories (energy) varies, and some burn more than others. So let's say that you burn 2700 calories a day. If you consume 3500 calories through food, than the remaining 800 calories is stored as fat. That's what you see around your belly. Energy that wasn't used, so it's stored on your body. And vice versa for fat loss. If you burn 2700 calories, and you consume 1700 calories, than the body will use other sources of energy since the food is not enough fuel the energy used in the day. So the body will take the fat from your body that was stored or even muscle protein to make up for that. That's how you lose weight. With that said, I know the goal is that you want to lose body fat, and keep lean muscle mass. It is important that if you want to lose weight, and keep lean muscle mass, lose the weight at a steady pace and eat plenty of lean protein. You see some folks that lose weight, but they just become a skinnier fat (i.e. Jared from Subway). That's because their lean muscle mass is not much. Maybe they're not working out much, or not getting a steady supply of protein. But this is something I will touch on a little bit later, but wanted to touch on that a bit.
Counting calories is easier said than done. There is no way to get an exact caloric calculation, because your metabolism varies day to day, and calorie counting is not an exact science. But you should be able to know what neighborhood your in. You should research different types of foods to get an approximate amount. But using the nutrition labels is very important if you get packaged foods. And also, if you decide get some fast food, before you go, go to their nutritional facts page to see about how many calories you're going to consume. But if you consume more whole foods (lean meats and veggies), then you know that you're caloric intake will always be not as much as getting some type of processed foods, fast foods, or foods high in carbs. Like for an example, an ideal day for me would be a veggie omelet with whole wheat English muffin on strawberry preserves. I know with eggs (2) being about 75 calories, and with the mixed veggies, I add 50 calories, and then for the muffin, I add 100 calories, I figure tha meal is about 300-350. Then the second meal, I try to make it the biggest meal of the day, since after this meal, will be the time where I will be the most active. So I'll eat a grilled chicken with a garden salad and mixed veggies which I figure around 400-500 calories. Then I might eat a Trader Joes burrito which is about 350, and then depending on my appetite, eat a 4th meal that I try to keep under 350 calories. So if I can keep my intake between 1500-1800 calories, then I know I will have a great calorie deficit that day. Nobody is perfect, and you shouldn't try to be. I just explained an ideal day. There are days where I might wanna get a big mac, or get a nice sandwich. That's fine, as long as I keep mind of what I ate. The other day, I had that egg omelet breakfast I talked about, but I a craving for a Whooper for my second meal. I got a Whooper with cheese, no mayo which is about 560 calories, small onion rings which is about 150 calories, and a diet coke which has 0 calories. That is 710 calories for that meal. With that in mind, I knew that my 3rd a 4th meal (if I have one) will have to be alot lower. I had a 350 calorie burrito later, and that was it. I consumed only 1400 calories that day! What tends to get people fat is that with the Whooper, they will get cheese, mayo, with a large fries and soda which could be almost a 1400 calorie meal. And they multiply that caloric intake over 3-4 meals a day, and have a lot of calories consumed for the day, way above what the body has burned. So what the key is to be consistent with your nutrition, because you can never go wrong by eating right. And you must get it into your mind of eating less, and eating better foods. If you can get those two things ingrained into your mind, the rest will come easy. And it will come to the point to where you might want to indulge once and a while, and that's fine. Some of the food that is high in calories are very good. But to indulge everyday all day is not a good way in trying to lose or maintain your weight. I indulged all the time throughout my life. I was very implusive, and lazy and didn't want to cook, so I would go out all the time. Even to this day, it's hard for me to eat out, because I tend to go for foods that I shouldn't be getting. I think it was Muata that said be mindful of your pitfalls. In other words, no what your kryptonite is that triggers eating habits that are good for you. Since I have that in mind, I make sure I spend alot of money on groceries, because I'm very good at just buying good food at the grocery store. I love going through the vegetable isle and picking out all the vegetables that I love. And sense I spent a good amount of money on food, I know there will be no reason for me to eat out, because I just spent that money on food.
So please, be mindful the amount of calories you are consuming. Even before you start "dieting" just start be counting the calories you're consuming now, or think is this meal good or bad. We're all men, and we know what we know which foods are better for us. I always think of this line: Eat for purpose, not for pleasure. Even though what I'm eating gives me alot of pleasure, I think of that line when I get cravings.
Monday, November 23, 2009
My Weight Loss Regimen Part 2
Nutrition
This is so key to weight loss. Getting healthy portions of protein, fat, and carbs is very essential. I will not try to even front and say I'm an expert on this, but what I do is try to balance out my nutrition with mainly whole foods. I know that eating more veggies, lean meats, and whole grains are alot better for me than processed foods. I wrote alot about maintaining a calorie-deficit. The absolute best way to do this is eat the foods that I mentioned. Because you can eat more of those foods, feel satisfied, and have not as many calories as you would of other foods. Since we were kids, we were always told about the foods that were good for us. I'm sure most of you remember the government chart with what foods to eat. Remember, it was in the shape of a pyramid, and it listed the type of foods to eat for a balanced diet. So even if you're not an expert on what is what (trust me I'm not, but I'm learning more each day) you generally know what's good for you, and what's bad for you. So what I do is find the foods that are good for me, that I've always liked, and just eating alot more of them. To give you an example, when I shop, I get the veggies I've always liked: broccoli, carrots, bell peepers, tomatoes, packaged mixed vegetables, and I will use these veggies for my veggie omelet, salads, or grilled chicken sandwiches. And if you love meat like I do, then you have nothing to fret. I know that in the past, when I had no idea about nutrition, I just thought diets consist of me eating foods I did not want to, and I would have to drastically drop my meat intake. The key I found out is that if you consume more lean meats, then it's all good. I do try to only have 2 meals with lean meats, but some days, I may have 3 meals with lean meats. So when I go to the store, I get just chicken breast, salmon, and turkey. But if you like beef and pork, then you can get that, but make sure that it's lean portions. For me, I've decided to drastically reduce my beef and pork intake, just because that was something I loved in the past, and definitely help in me getting to the weight I was. So still, once in a while, I will eat beef and pork, but I know that chicken, fish, and turkey are great lean meats that I love, so I just stick to that. But I have been thinking of incorporating some pork tenderloin, but for right now, I'm sticking to the things I know. I've stopped drinking soda all together. When I first to give up my soda cravings, I decided to switch to diet soda. It definitely helped in my weight loss. I was buying more diet soda, juices, and green tea. But in my current intake, when I go to the store, I just buy the green tea, and I don't even drink it that much either now. I'm drinking more water, and just recently, I got the idea from Muata, and I'm starting to alternate days where I just drink only water. But I still from time to time, get a diet soda. The point is that I'm limiting my intake of calories from liquids. I know in the past, I probably consumed 500-800 calories a day just from what I drinked. I remember in college, I couldn't have a soda or some juice in my fridge. I would love to get those cheap store sodas like Safeway Select, and stock up on those. Now, I have no desire to add calories from liquid. And if I do, than it's the Arizona green tea. I used to love that drink, even when I wasn't mindful of my intake, I would buy that often. And I know may think juices are better for you. I used to. But there not, and some is just as bad as soda. I enjoy juices in moderation, but that's how focused I am right now. I don't want any intake from liquids, so for right now, juices is taking a back seat. When I get to my goal weight, then I will probably add juices back, because some are good for you, and it would be a good way to get maintain the weight.
So that's basically it. That's my "diet". I'm loving what I'm eating right now, so I really can see myself eating like this for the rest of my life. As long as I'm mindful of my nutrition, the weight will come off. And let me emphasize again that I hate calling my weight loss a diet. Because it really doesn't feel like I'm on one. I'm just making better choices in my food intake, and making sure I have a calorie deficit every day. It's really that simple.
Excersise
Now, this one was a huge hurdle for me. By nature, I'm a pretty lazy person, and I'm still am. I still sit around the house, watching TV, on the computer, and/or play vids for hours a day along with a toke. But there is a difference from what I am today than what I was a few years ago. But years ago, my knowledge of the science of weight loss was non-exsistent. But now, I do some type of cardio at least once a day, 5-6 days a week. And the difference now is that I love doing it. Being a Big Dawg, and a much larger one a few years ago, I had this notion of weight loss, and it takes a person who runs miles a day on the road, and/or on the treadmill, and have to be in the gym everyday, but that is not the case.
In my college days, when I was trying to get in shape, I would run around the track, go to the gym, and play some basketball. But at this time, my nuturtion was terrible, so even though I was doing some things, all of that was in vain. Let me say this again, IF YOU'RE NOT EATING RIGHT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT EXCERSISE! So what I mean is if you're not maintaining a calorie-deficit and have a good nutrition, you will not see any results from excersising. You may think I'm bullshitting, but let me try to explain some of the science behind it. So lets say you run mile a day, and you weigh about 280. You burn about 175 calories. Now, lets say the calories you burn for living is about 3000, and you just ran a mile, so you're burning 3,175 calories a day. But since you've been running, you think that you can eat whatever. Lets say you eat 4 meals, about 1000 calories per meal. You consumed 4,000 calories a day! So you will actually be gaining weight, even with your committment to running. Now, this is the anomoly that I believe alot of us run into, because even though you might be working out, you're not seeing any results like you think, because you think going to the gym, and running a mile a day is helping lose weight, but that's far from the truth. There is tons of evidence on this, and you can do some research on your own to check this out. So basically, you're doing the workouts for nothing, and your regain will not be as fast, but you still will be gaining weight becuase your caloric intake is not in check. You can run 2 miles, then have 2 slices of pizza, and wipe that out completely. Check this video out to see what I mean.
Now, with that said, you might be saying, what's the point of excersising if it doesn't burn too many calories from doing it? Well, there is a tons of reasons to excersise. My number one reason for excersise is for my mind. I feel so much better mentally after a workout. I feel alot better about myself, and it helps in my confidence. Also, I still want maintain my athletic menatality. I've always felt that I'm an athlete, and even in my bigger days, I would still be able to play ball, and run around. I feel alot more faster and stronger now with the weight I'm losing. Now the #2 reason that I excersise, is because it aids in my calorie deficit. Not only am I'm burning the calories from just living, and working out, I'm still maintaining my calorie deficit. And because I burning an extra 200-400 calories from working out, my deficit has more of a difference than it would if I didn't, and I will lose weight a little faster. Plus, I want to maintain my lean muscle mass, so doing bodyweight excersises is a great way to maintain my lean muscle mass, so when I lose the body fat, I will see more muscle than fat. I'm not an expert on this at all, but I think that doing resistance training at a very high level is something I'm gonna put off until I'm at my ideal body fat percentage, and I would suggest you do the same. Just do something that will keep you toned, and if you want to get bigger, just put if off.
So like I said in the beginning of this segement, I do some type of excersise at least once a day, 5-6 days a week. And in the past, I would run around the track, and go to the gym. Let me empasize, you don't have to do some hardcore workout to get a good workout. And alot of the times, it will hamper your weight loss. I think back to my college days, and I would do a workout that I just hated. I kinda liked the gym, but I didn't like everybody that was in there. I wanted to be able to concentrate on my workout, and some times were peak times, so I would put it off. So after running a mile, with my legs feeling like crap, I would hate it, and cycle back to my old habits, because I hated doing it so much. And I'm sure alot of you have done the same. And with me having flat feet, running around the track was a painful experience. But now, I have done a 180 in my knowledge, and I know that anything that you do can be an excellent way to get a workout. Take me for an example. I mentioned in my journey series, that I went to a reggae festival, and it really changed my life. I remember dancing so much to the music. When I got home, and was blasting reggae, I would get up and dance, remembering my reggae expereience. Then the lightbulb went off in my head. I loved to dance. Yeah, that might sound gay, but I just love to dance. Music really gets me moving. So I said to myself, I could use this as cardio. So I incorporated this with my workout. So I dance for 30 mintues a day, and get a great workout, and it's something I love to do, and look forward to doing it. I would suggest you find something that you love to do, and you can do it everyday. Basketball, riding bikes, walking around, etc. are great workouts. But the main thing is to find something you love to do, and it gets your heart rate up. Why is this important? With me, I do three different types of cardio that I like to do; dancing, sprinting, and punching the heavy bag. I incoporated these three things in my weekly cardio, along with a bodyweight workout everyday, with doing my more strenuous bodyweight workout every other day. Now, there is some days, I really don't feel like going outside, and dancing is the most fun to me out of the three. So I know if I don't feel like doing the other, I can always go back to dancing to get my cardio in. But like I said, I like to hit the heavy bag and sprint. This is great way to workout, and build great lean muscle mass compared to jogging. The evidence for this is just look at Olympic marathon runners compared to sprinters. The marathoners are alot leaner, compared to the sprinters have more muscle mass. Not sure about the science behind this, but I believe it's about burning your muscle protein. When you're jogging for a set period of time, at some point, your body stops burning energy, and burns muscle protein. Please, do more research on your own to understand this, but that is my novice understanding of it. So it really depends on what type of body type you want. I would rather look like Tyson Gay than one of those African long distance runners. So again, do what you you like. Don't think you have to do something crazy to get a workout in to lose weight. The main thing is that you do something that gets your heart rate up, and you will be fine.
The sum up
So in conclusion, the 4 main things that I focus on in my weight loss regimen is my mind, my caloric intake: maintaining a calorie deficit, my nutrtion: the type of foods I eat, and excersing. If you master these four things, you will lose weight. It's really that simple.
This is so key to weight loss. Getting healthy portions of protein, fat, and carbs is very essential. I will not try to even front and say I'm an expert on this, but what I do is try to balance out my nutrition with mainly whole foods. I know that eating more veggies, lean meats, and whole grains are alot better for me than processed foods. I wrote alot about maintaining a calorie-deficit. The absolute best way to do this is eat the foods that I mentioned. Because you can eat more of those foods, feel satisfied, and have not as many calories as you would of other foods. Since we were kids, we were always told about the foods that were good for us. I'm sure most of you remember the government chart with what foods to eat. Remember, it was in the shape of a pyramid, and it listed the type of foods to eat for a balanced diet. So even if you're not an expert on what is what (trust me I'm not, but I'm learning more each day) you generally know what's good for you, and what's bad for you. So what I do is find the foods that are good for me, that I've always liked, and just eating alot more of them. To give you an example, when I shop, I get the veggies I've always liked: broccoli, carrots, bell peepers, tomatoes, packaged mixed vegetables, and I will use these veggies for my veggie omelet, salads, or grilled chicken sandwiches. And if you love meat like I do, then you have nothing to fret. I know that in the past, when I had no idea about nutrition, I just thought diets consist of me eating foods I did not want to, and I would have to drastically drop my meat intake. The key I found out is that if you consume more lean meats, then it's all good. I do try to only have 2 meals with lean meats, but some days, I may have 3 meals with lean meats. So when I go to the store, I get just chicken breast, salmon, and turkey. But if you like beef and pork, then you can get that, but make sure that it's lean portions. For me, I've decided to drastically reduce my beef and pork intake, just because that was something I loved in the past, and definitely help in me getting to the weight I was. So still, once in a while, I will eat beef and pork, but I know that chicken, fish, and turkey are great lean meats that I love, so I just stick to that. But I have been thinking of incorporating some pork tenderloin, but for right now, I'm sticking to the things I know. I've stopped drinking soda all together. When I first to give up my soda cravings, I decided to switch to diet soda. It definitely helped in my weight loss. I was buying more diet soda, juices, and green tea. But in my current intake, when I go to the store, I just buy the green tea, and I don't even drink it that much either now. I'm drinking more water, and just recently, I got the idea from Muata, and I'm starting to alternate days where I just drink only water. But I still from time to time, get a diet soda. The point is that I'm limiting my intake of calories from liquids. I know in the past, I probably consumed 500-800 calories a day just from what I drinked. I remember in college, I couldn't have a soda or some juice in my fridge. I would love to get those cheap store sodas like Safeway Select, and stock up on those. Now, I have no desire to add calories from liquid. And if I do, than it's the Arizona green tea. I used to love that drink, even when I wasn't mindful of my intake, I would buy that often. And I know may think juices are better for you. I used to. But there not, and some is just as bad as soda. I enjoy juices in moderation, but that's how focused I am right now. I don't want any intake from liquids, so for right now, juices is taking a back seat. When I get to my goal weight, then I will probably add juices back, because some are good for you, and it would be a good way to get maintain the weight.
So that's basically it. That's my "diet". I'm loving what I'm eating right now, so I really can see myself eating like this for the rest of my life. As long as I'm mindful of my nutrition, the weight will come off. And let me emphasize again that I hate calling my weight loss a diet. Because it really doesn't feel like I'm on one. I'm just making better choices in my food intake, and making sure I have a calorie deficit every day. It's really that simple.
Excersise
Now, this one was a huge hurdle for me. By nature, I'm a pretty lazy person, and I'm still am. I still sit around the house, watching TV, on the computer, and/or play vids for hours a day along with a toke. But there is a difference from what I am today than what I was a few years ago. But years ago, my knowledge of the science of weight loss was non-exsistent. But now, I do some type of cardio at least once a day, 5-6 days a week. And the difference now is that I love doing it. Being a Big Dawg, and a much larger one a few years ago, I had this notion of weight loss, and it takes a person who runs miles a day on the road, and/or on the treadmill, and have to be in the gym everyday, but that is not the case.
In my college days, when I was trying to get in shape, I would run around the track, go to the gym, and play some basketball. But at this time, my nuturtion was terrible, so even though I was doing some things, all of that was in vain. Let me say this again, IF YOU'RE NOT EATING RIGHT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT EXCERSISE! So what I mean is if you're not maintaining a calorie-deficit and have a good nutrition, you will not see any results from excersising. You may think I'm bullshitting, but let me try to explain some of the science behind it. So lets say you run mile a day, and you weigh about 280. You burn about 175 calories. Now, lets say the calories you burn for living is about 3000, and you just ran a mile, so you're burning 3,175 calories a day. But since you've been running, you think that you can eat whatever. Lets say you eat 4 meals, about 1000 calories per meal. You consumed 4,000 calories a day! So you will actually be gaining weight, even with your committment to running. Now, this is the anomoly that I believe alot of us run into, because even though you might be working out, you're not seeing any results like you think, because you think going to the gym, and running a mile a day is helping lose weight, but that's far from the truth. There is tons of evidence on this, and you can do some research on your own to check this out. So basically, you're doing the workouts for nothing, and your regain will not be as fast, but you still will be gaining weight becuase your caloric intake is not in check. You can run 2 miles, then have 2 slices of pizza, and wipe that out completely. Check this video out to see what I mean.
Now, with that said, you might be saying, what's the point of excersising if it doesn't burn too many calories from doing it? Well, there is a tons of reasons to excersise. My number one reason for excersise is for my mind. I feel so much better mentally after a workout. I feel alot better about myself, and it helps in my confidence. Also, I still want maintain my athletic menatality. I've always felt that I'm an athlete, and even in my bigger days, I would still be able to play ball, and run around. I feel alot more faster and stronger now with the weight I'm losing. Now the #2 reason that I excersise, is because it aids in my calorie deficit. Not only am I'm burning the calories from just living, and working out, I'm still maintaining my calorie deficit. And because I burning an extra 200-400 calories from working out, my deficit has more of a difference than it would if I didn't, and I will lose weight a little faster. Plus, I want to maintain my lean muscle mass, so doing bodyweight excersises is a great way to maintain my lean muscle mass, so when I lose the body fat, I will see more muscle than fat. I'm not an expert on this at all, but I think that doing resistance training at a very high level is something I'm gonna put off until I'm at my ideal body fat percentage, and I would suggest you do the same. Just do something that will keep you toned, and if you want to get bigger, just put if off.
So like I said in the beginning of this segement, I do some type of excersise at least once a day, 5-6 days a week. And in the past, I would run around the track, and go to the gym. Let me empasize, you don't have to do some hardcore workout to get a good workout. And alot of the times, it will hamper your weight loss. I think back to my college days, and I would do a workout that I just hated. I kinda liked the gym, but I didn't like everybody that was in there. I wanted to be able to concentrate on my workout, and some times were peak times, so I would put it off. So after running a mile, with my legs feeling like crap, I would hate it, and cycle back to my old habits, because I hated doing it so much. And I'm sure alot of you have done the same. And with me having flat feet, running around the track was a painful experience. But now, I have done a 180 in my knowledge, and I know that anything that you do can be an excellent way to get a workout. Take me for an example. I mentioned in my journey series, that I went to a reggae festival, and it really changed my life. I remember dancing so much to the music. When I got home, and was blasting reggae, I would get up and dance, remembering my reggae expereience. Then the lightbulb went off in my head. I loved to dance. Yeah, that might sound gay, but I just love to dance. Music really gets me moving. So I said to myself, I could use this as cardio. So I incorporated this with my workout. So I dance for 30 mintues a day, and get a great workout, and it's something I love to do, and look forward to doing it. I would suggest you find something that you love to do, and you can do it everyday. Basketball, riding bikes, walking around, etc. are great workouts. But the main thing is to find something you love to do, and it gets your heart rate up. Why is this important? With me, I do three different types of cardio that I like to do; dancing, sprinting, and punching the heavy bag. I incoporated these three things in my weekly cardio, along with a bodyweight workout everyday, with doing my more strenuous bodyweight workout every other day. Now, there is some days, I really don't feel like going outside, and dancing is the most fun to me out of the three. So I know if I don't feel like doing the other, I can always go back to dancing to get my cardio in. But like I said, I like to hit the heavy bag and sprint. This is great way to workout, and build great lean muscle mass compared to jogging. The evidence for this is just look at Olympic marathon runners compared to sprinters. The marathoners are alot leaner, compared to the sprinters have more muscle mass. Not sure about the science behind this, but I believe it's about burning your muscle protein. When you're jogging for a set period of time, at some point, your body stops burning energy, and burns muscle protein. Please, do more research on your own to understand this, but that is my novice understanding of it. So it really depends on what type of body type you want. I would rather look like Tyson Gay than one of those African long distance runners. So again, do what you you like. Don't think you have to do something crazy to get a workout in to lose weight. The main thing is that you do something that gets your heart rate up, and you will be fine.
The sum up
So in conclusion, the 4 main things that I focus on in my weight loss regimen is my mind, my caloric intake: maintaining a calorie deficit, my nutrtion: the type of foods I eat, and excersing. If you master these four things, you will lose weight. It's really that simple.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
My Weight Loss Regimen - Part 1
Ok, now that you're done with my manifesto LOL, you're probably wondering what is my regimen for my weight loss. Well, let me tell you Big Dawg, it is vey simple, but it is not easy. But if you do your research, you will find out that it is alot easier then what you hear or read out there. The Weight Loss industry is a billion dollar industry, and confusion is what makes them profitable. If people would understand how simple it is to lose weight, than we might be a much fitter nation. But unfortunately, do to the demands of this society; work, constantly on the move, the quicker the better, the temptation of bad foods, and other factors has led to a nation of mostly overweight people. Its funny that I look in the past, and my craving for calorie rich, filling foods, and how misguided I was, and I wish someone ingrained this into my head. But it is what it is, and it's time to stop living in the past, and look towards a brighter future. First of all, I'm not nutritionist, or weight loss guru. I don't possess some zen like ability to maintain my calorie deficit, because I'm just a man with my faults. I'm actually unemployed, smoke weed, sit a watch TV most of the day if I'm not running errands, but I do find the time in the day to get a good workout in. I'm just an average man that was tired of being trapped in this body. I know what your thinking Big Dawg, that these fit people with this fine bodies probably put themselves through rigorous workouts, and eat just veggie foods to look that good, and you don't have the willpower to do that. Let me tell you, that's far from the truth. I still in the midst of my journey, but I have a mindset now that is tunnel vision, and I will not allow myself to let off. And I'm not even doing anything to crazy, or fighting cravings, or starving myself. So how do I do this? Well, you know that from reading my journey post, that it is a mental challenge more than anything. You have to have a made of up mind, and I'll touch on the more. But let me say it again, THIS IS NOT HARD TO DO AT ALL. So here are some aspects of my regimen that I'm currently doing.
The Mind
Before you even think of trying to lose weight, you have to prepare yourself mentally. Now, I don't mean that you have to mentally prepare for some hardcore diet. What I mean is that you have to prepare your mind to adapt to changing your life, and having a do whatever it takes attitude to obtain your goal. For an example, I eat about anywhere on average 4 meals a day, ranging from 250-500 calories. I don't allow myself to go beyond that, and if I do, then I don't beat myself over this. You may have some insecurities that I mentioned, and I know that this a huge hurdle in it self. You have to try your best to do some soul searching. But once you have a made up mind, then the rest of this stuff I'm going to mention will come easy. I'm in a mindset to where my cravings for calorie-rich foods have dropped drastically, and I have cravings for healthier and smaller portions. What these people are doing with that bypass surgery with shrinking their stomachs and paying big bucks to do, I'm doing it free, with just the power of my mind. My stomach feels smaller, and I'm satisfied with my smaller portions. All of this comes with he power of the mind.
Calorie-Deficit
If I had to rank the importance of weight loss, the mind would be 1.a and maintaining a calorie-deficit would be 1.b. This again the most import thing besides a made up mind that you can do. MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. And just in case you missed that, let me say it again. MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. All the fad diets, and weight loss programs (i.e. atkins, south beach, weight watchers, nutrisystem) all like to sound like their revolutionary, but that's far from the truth. Each one of these fad diets and programs have one thing in common. The individual must maintain a calorie-deficit, they just hide behind something they claim it's revolutionary. They have money to make, so they have to stand out from the other fad diets. And they're banking on people's lack of knowledge, and our culture quick and easy. Just to touch on this a little, this journey will not be quick. It will take months, and even years to get body you want. But if you have a made up mind, you will start to eat better not just because you're on diet, but you more in tune to what you put in your body. To understand a calorie-deficit, it's good to know some biology of weight loss. I would suggest going to Lyle McDonald's blog and read on the science of this, but I will try my best to sum it up.
Depending on your life style (sedentary, moderately active, very active) you body is always burning calories. A man burns more calories than a woman, and this can range from 2500 to 2700 for a sedentary man any a given day. Lets take me for an example, with my current lifestyle, with a workout of 30-60 minutes, I burn close to 3000 calories a day. So with that in mind you can estimate what type of calorie deficit that you will have on a given day. So in weight loss, YOU MUST MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. So with that in mind, I know that for me to obtain a calorie deficit, I must consume lower than 3000 calories. So for me to maintain this, I choose to eat foods that are not as calorie dense as I used to, and I do this for 4 meals a day. So lets do some simple math. I know I burn close to 3000 calories a day. Let say my four meals a in a week, I total a caloric intake of 400 calories. So that's 1600 calories that I have consumed for the day. So I have a deficit of 1400 calories (just subtracting the total calories burned in a day with the amount consumed). So with with that in mind, I know that there is 3500 calories in a pound. With my calorie deficit, my body will respond to my deficit by burning fat stored in the body. So I know in a week, if I keep my my current intake for the whole week (which I don't. My calories burned from day to day vary, as well as my intake. No one is perfect, and I will not ask you to be. Using this calculation is just for the sake of showing you a simple example) I would have a calorie deficit total of 9800 calories. You divide that by 3500, now you have lost 2.8 pounds that week! You see how simple of a notion that is? Just by maintaining a calorie deficit, you're always burning fat. Depending how much you want to lose in a week depends on your caloric intake. Sounds easy right? Well, it's simple, but not easy.
What this requires me to do is to watch what I eat throughout the day. I try to stay away from calorie-rich foods (i.e. fast food meals, pizza, processed foods) that will cause me to eat a high calorie meal. For an example, I know alot of people are going through hard times, and I know that when you're on a budget, it's may be hard to buy foods that are healthier, nutritious, and are less calorie dense. Lets take a look at McDonalds dollar meal. Like I said in my journey posts, a staple meal for me when I was broke was a double cheese burger and a McChicken, and a lot of times, one more of either or. Looking at the McDonald's nutrition facts online, I found that a double cheese burger is 440 calories and a McChicken is 380. Lets say I go with 2 double cheese burgers and a McChicken. That's a total of 1260 calories! And you've only paid 3 bucks. Now lets look at a meal that I love now. I love chicken breast, especially when it's grilled. Who doesn't? I like to make chicken teriyaki. I would get teriyaki marinade, and let it marinate for a certain time. I will crank up the grill and grill the chicken, pouring some teriyaki sauce flavor. I will boil some brown rice, and cut up the cooked chicken, and put it on top of the rice. Now, let's estimate that an average chicken breast can have anywhere between 180-200 calories. I'll go with the high side, and say the breast I ate is 200. The one serving of brown rice is about 250. So I've just had a great tasting meal, that is very satisfying and it's was only 450 calories! You see what I mean? To me, the key is to find great tasting food that I like that are not as calorie dense as some foods. It's really as simple as replacing these calorie-rich meals with healthier ones. And portion size is key too with some foods. If you could be satisfied with one cheese burger, then you would only be consuming 440 calories. But I know Big Dawg, that is not the case for you. If you're like me, I would need at least two to feel satisfied. And with those two, you have consumed about double of what you would of if you would just have the chicken teriyaki with brown rice. So it's really about altering your brain to craze these types of good, nutritious, low calorie meals. Once I figured this out, it was easy to trade in my pizza, pasta, potato chips, fast food meals and find healthier options that YOU LIKE! You don't have to eat foods that you don't like for the sake of your deficit.
So again, MAINTAINING A CALORIE DEFICIT IS KEY TO YOUR WEIGHT LOSS! Once you have this ingrained in your mind, then weight loss will come easy. Do you wanna know how we got fat? It's easy. The reason is that we live in a sedentary society, and with alot of us doing work that requires us to sit alot is making an organism like a human being more sedentary than ever in human history. And living in a free market, the foods that are calorie dense are everywhere for the human on the go, and we're constantly bombarded by commericals showing us these delicious foods. I understand, it's easier to just pull up to the drive through, get a value meal, a go home, and watch TV. Now, lets say you eat a good sized breakfast that was about 1000 calories, you eat a whole salami sandwhich at lunch with chips and a soda which could be about a 1500 calorie meal, you get some chips, candy, and another soda some time before dinner which cold be 700 calories, then you go get a Quater Pounder value meal at MCD super sized, that can be a 1700 calorie meal, and then you snack something you like which could be about 400 calories. And lets say with your sedentary lifestyle, you are only burning 2700 calories on that day. So lets do the math. You add up the figures I mentioned, that totals 4900 calories. And you're only burning 2700, so you you consuming more calories than you body can burn, and so the extra calories are stored as fat. If you maintain that rate for a week, at 2200 extra calories a day, you are have an access of of 15,400 calories! Since we know that there is 3500 calories in a pound, if you divide that, you have gained 4.4 pounds that week! So you have to get this out of your mind, and learn to shop for good foods, or if you go to the fast food joint, find options less calorie-dense, or just learn to only eat half of the burger and a small fries, and a diet coke. Controlling portions is a great start to weight loss, and if you're not mentally ready to give up these foods, learn to eat on half. If you cut that intake that I mentioned by half, you have an intake of 2450 and you just obtained a calorie deficit. But I will strongly suggest that if you learn to cook a few things that good for you. In the long run, buying your foods will save you money, because you're not going out to eat that much. You may think it's cheap, but if you're eating out twice a day, spending 2o dollars a day, you spent 140 bucks on food. You could use that money to be alot of grocery that can last your for up to 3-4 weeks. And if you decide to get package food, study that nutrition label. Understand the serving size, and know what exactly how many calories your intaking. You probably noticed that I haven't said anything about a diet. I like to call it a calorie deficit, because to me, it really feels that I'm not on a diet, it's just that I've changed my lifestyle. There are times I crave bad foods, but I know if I do, then I'm mindful of it, estimate the caloric intake, and think about what I ate before, and what I will eat few hours after. Yes, my deficit would be shorter if I choose a better option, but still, the main thing is that I maintained a deficit for that day. So lets say that I heat a veggie omelet in the morning with some whole wheat English muffin, toasted with butter substitute and strawberry preserves and a fruit. That is a caloric intake of 350. Now lets say some co workers wanted to go out to lunch at the local burger spot, with limited options of good foods. I know alot of us go through this dilemma often. I know that it can be kinda embarrassing to say your on a diet, and you don't want to offend anyone by not eating anything, and say fuck it, and splurge. Let's say that I had an intake of 1300 calories. Instead of the regular soda, I got diet one, which cut my intake by 300 calories. So so far, I have intake of 1650. Oh shit, did I just slip up? Maybe, to a degree, if you decide to eat a dinner that is high in calories. But you can still recover from this meal, if you decide to eat salad for dinner, and maybe even some healthy snacks like fruits for an example, which only totals no more than 500 calories. So I had a daily intake of 2150. Yes, I didn't have a high deficit today, but the main thing is still having a calorie-deficit. So I'm still burning fat!
So Big Dawg, get it in your mind to maintain a calorie deficit. A good nutrition and a calorie-deficit is key to your weight. Way more than resistance training or cardio, even though those are things you should do to increase your daily activity, that isn't as important as this. You can lose weight without exercising. And too much exercise can somewhat bad for you, and I'll touch on that a little later in this series. Look at my cousin for an example. In my journey post, I mentioned how my cousin had a massive heart attack and was in a coma for a few weeks. The only thing they gave him was this medical protein that they fed him through a tube. In his very sedentary state, he was able to lose 60 pounds in 6 weeks with no exercising. Why is this? Because remember I mentioned that we are always burning calories to live. Breathing, thinking, moving, all requires calories. So even when he was in his coma, he was still burning calories for maintaining life. I would never suggest dropping weight like that. This was done for medical reason, and it required him to drop weight fast for his health. But the point is that you can lose weight without it, but at the same time, cardio and resistance is important in your journey. The Mind and Calorie Deficit deserves it's own post, because this is the to keys to your success. It has for me, and I guarantee if you master these two, you will lose weight.
The Mind
Before you even think of trying to lose weight, you have to prepare yourself mentally. Now, I don't mean that you have to mentally prepare for some hardcore diet. What I mean is that you have to prepare your mind to adapt to changing your life, and having a do whatever it takes attitude to obtain your goal. For an example, I eat about anywhere on average 4 meals a day, ranging from 250-500 calories. I don't allow myself to go beyond that, and if I do, then I don't beat myself over this. You may have some insecurities that I mentioned, and I know that this a huge hurdle in it self. You have to try your best to do some soul searching. But once you have a made up mind, then the rest of this stuff I'm going to mention will come easy. I'm in a mindset to where my cravings for calorie-rich foods have dropped drastically, and I have cravings for healthier and smaller portions. What these people are doing with that bypass surgery with shrinking their stomachs and paying big bucks to do, I'm doing it free, with just the power of my mind. My stomach feels smaller, and I'm satisfied with my smaller portions. All of this comes with he power of the mind.
Calorie-Deficit
If I had to rank the importance of weight loss, the mind would be 1.a and maintaining a calorie-deficit would be 1.b. This again the most import thing besides a made up mind that you can do. MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. And just in case you missed that, let me say it again. MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. All the fad diets, and weight loss programs (i.e. atkins, south beach, weight watchers, nutrisystem) all like to sound like their revolutionary, but that's far from the truth. Each one of these fad diets and programs have one thing in common. The individual must maintain a calorie-deficit, they just hide behind something they claim it's revolutionary. They have money to make, so they have to stand out from the other fad diets. And they're banking on people's lack of knowledge, and our culture quick and easy. Just to touch on this a little, this journey will not be quick. It will take months, and even years to get body you want. But if you have a made up mind, you will start to eat better not just because you're on diet, but you more in tune to what you put in your body. To understand a calorie-deficit, it's good to know some biology of weight loss. I would suggest going to Lyle McDonald's blog and read on the science of this, but I will try my best to sum it up.
Depending on your life style (sedentary, moderately active, very active) you body is always burning calories. A man burns more calories than a woman, and this can range from 2500 to 2700 for a sedentary man any a given day. Lets take me for an example, with my current lifestyle, with a workout of 30-60 minutes, I burn close to 3000 calories a day. So with that in mind you can estimate what type of calorie deficit that you will have on a given day. So in weight loss, YOU MUST MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. So with that in mind, I know that for me to obtain a calorie deficit, I must consume lower than 3000 calories. So for me to maintain this, I choose to eat foods that are not as calorie dense as I used to, and I do this for 4 meals a day. So lets do some simple math. I know I burn close to 3000 calories a day. Let say my four meals a in a week, I total a caloric intake of 400 calories. So that's 1600 calories that I have consumed for the day. So I have a deficit of 1400 calories (just subtracting the total calories burned in a day with the amount consumed). So with with that in mind, I know that there is 3500 calories in a pound. With my calorie deficit, my body will respond to my deficit by burning fat stored in the body. So I know in a week, if I keep my my current intake for the whole week (which I don't. My calories burned from day to day vary, as well as my intake. No one is perfect, and I will not ask you to be. Using this calculation is just for the sake of showing you a simple example) I would have a calorie deficit total of 9800 calories. You divide that by 3500, now you have lost 2.8 pounds that week! You see how simple of a notion that is? Just by maintaining a calorie deficit, you're always burning fat. Depending how much you want to lose in a week depends on your caloric intake. Sounds easy right? Well, it's simple, but not easy.
What this requires me to do is to watch what I eat throughout the day. I try to stay away from calorie-rich foods (i.e. fast food meals, pizza, processed foods) that will cause me to eat a high calorie meal. For an example, I know alot of people are going through hard times, and I know that when you're on a budget, it's may be hard to buy foods that are healthier, nutritious, and are less calorie dense. Lets take a look at McDonalds dollar meal. Like I said in my journey posts, a staple meal for me when I was broke was a double cheese burger and a McChicken, and a lot of times, one more of either or. Looking at the McDonald's nutrition facts online, I found that a double cheese burger is 440 calories and a McChicken is 380. Lets say I go with 2 double cheese burgers and a McChicken. That's a total of 1260 calories! And you've only paid 3 bucks. Now lets look at a meal that I love now. I love chicken breast, especially when it's grilled. Who doesn't? I like to make chicken teriyaki. I would get teriyaki marinade, and let it marinate for a certain time. I will crank up the grill and grill the chicken, pouring some teriyaki sauce flavor. I will boil some brown rice, and cut up the cooked chicken, and put it on top of the rice. Now, let's estimate that an average chicken breast can have anywhere between 180-200 calories. I'll go with the high side, and say the breast I ate is 200. The one serving of brown rice is about 250. So I've just had a great tasting meal, that is very satisfying and it's was only 450 calories! You see what I mean? To me, the key is to find great tasting food that I like that are not as calorie dense as some foods. It's really as simple as replacing these calorie-rich meals with healthier ones. And portion size is key too with some foods. If you could be satisfied with one cheese burger, then you would only be consuming 440 calories. But I know Big Dawg, that is not the case for you. If you're like me, I would need at least two to feel satisfied. And with those two, you have consumed about double of what you would of if you would just have the chicken teriyaki with brown rice. So it's really about altering your brain to craze these types of good, nutritious, low calorie meals. Once I figured this out, it was easy to trade in my pizza, pasta, potato chips, fast food meals and find healthier options that YOU LIKE! You don't have to eat foods that you don't like for the sake of your deficit.
So again, MAINTAINING A CALORIE DEFICIT IS KEY TO YOUR WEIGHT LOSS! Once you have this ingrained in your mind, then weight loss will come easy. Do you wanna know how we got fat? It's easy. The reason is that we live in a sedentary society, and with alot of us doing work that requires us to sit alot is making an organism like a human being more sedentary than ever in human history. And living in a free market, the foods that are calorie dense are everywhere for the human on the go, and we're constantly bombarded by commericals showing us these delicious foods. I understand, it's easier to just pull up to the drive through, get a value meal, a go home, and watch TV. Now, lets say you eat a good sized breakfast that was about 1000 calories, you eat a whole salami sandwhich at lunch with chips and a soda which could be about a 1500 calorie meal, you get some chips, candy, and another soda some time before dinner which cold be 700 calories, then you go get a Quater Pounder value meal at MCD super sized, that can be a 1700 calorie meal, and then you snack something you like which could be about 400 calories. And lets say with your sedentary lifestyle, you are only burning 2700 calories on that day. So lets do the math. You add up the figures I mentioned, that totals 4900 calories. And you're only burning 2700, so you you consuming more calories than you body can burn, and so the extra calories are stored as fat. If you maintain that rate for a week, at 2200 extra calories a day, you are have an access of of 15,400 calories! Since we know that there is 3500 calories in a pound, if you divide that, you have gained 4.4 pounds that week! So you have to get this out of your mind, and learn to shop for good foods, or if you go to the fast food joint, find options less calorie-dense, or just learn to only eat half of the burger and a small fries, and a diet coke. Controlling portions is a great start to weight loss, and if you're not mentally ready to give up these foods, learn to eat on half. If you cut that intake that I mentioned by half, you have an intake of 2450 and you just obtained a calorie deficit. But I will strongly suggest that if you learn to cook a few things that good for you. In the long run, buying your foods will save you money, because you're not going out to eat that much. You may think it's cheap, but if you're eating out twice a day, spending 2o dollars a day, you spent 140 bucks on food. You could use that money to be alot of grocery that can last your for up to 3-4 weeks. And if you decide to get package food, study that nutrition label. Understand the serving size, and know what exactly how many calories your intaking. You probably noticed that I haven't said anything about a diet. I like to call it a calorie deficit, because to me, it really feels that I'm not on a diet, it's just that I've changed my lifestyle. There are times I crave bad foods, but I know if I do, then I'm mindful of it, estimate the caloric intake, and think about what I ate before, and what I will eat few hours after. Yes, my deficit would be shorter if I choose a better option, but still, the main thing is that I maintained a deficit for that day. So lets say that I heat a veggie omelet in the morning with some whole wheat English muffin, toasted with butter substitute and strawberry preserves and a fruit. That is a caloric intake of 350. Now lets say some co workers wanted to go out to lunch at the local burger spot, with limited options of good foods. I know alot of us go through this dilemma often. I know that it can be kinda embarrassing to say your on a diet, and you don't want to offend anyone by not eating anything, and say fuck it, and splurge. Let's say that I had an intake of 1300 calories. Instead of the regular soda, I got diet one, which cut my intake by 300 calories. So so far, I have intake of 1650. Oh shit, did I just slip up? Maybe, to a degree, if you decide to eat a dinner that is high in calories. But you can still recover from this meal, if you decide to eat salad for dinner, and maybe even some healthy snacks like fruits for an example, which only totals no more than 500 calories. So I had a daily intake of 2150. Yes, I didn't have a high deficit today, but the main thing is still having a calorie-deficit. So I'm still burning fat!
So Big Dawg, get it in your mind to maintain a calorie deficit. A good nutrition and a calorie-deficit is key to your weight. Way more than resistance training or cardio, even though those are things you should do to increase your daily activity, that isn't as important as this. You can lose weight without exercising. And too much exercise can somewhat bad for you, and I'll touch on that a little later in this series. Look at my cousin for an example. In my journey post, I mentioned how my cousin had a massive heart attack and was in a coma for a few weeks. The only thing they gave him was this medical protein that they fed him through a tube. In his very sedentary state, he was able to lose 60 pounds in 6 weeks with no exercising. Why is this? Because remember I mentioned that we are always burning calories to live. Breathing, thinking, moving, all requires calories. So even when he was in his coma, he was still burning calories for maintaining life. I would never suggest dropping weight like that. This was done for medical reason, and it required him to drop weight fast for his health. But the point is that you can lose weight without it, but at the same time, cardio and resistance is important in your journey. The Mind and Calorie Deficit deserves it's own post, because this is the to keys to your success. It has for me, and I guarantee if you master these two, you will lose weight.
My Journey Part 3
2009-present The "Journey" Begins...
2009 rolls around, and it starts out with a bang with spending a great time at a winter ski resort, with some friends. I had a feeling that 2009 would be weird, but with my somewhat bleak outlook at life, I figured the worst would always outweigh the better. I remember at the resort, met this girl who was gorgeous, and she was staying in the same cabin with me and all the boys. We all got drunk, it was an awesome time. Then of course, the call of the hot tub came, and I was hella down. I would never forget this, and the would be a catalyst of what would be the beginning of me really focusing on my weight. We're all in the hot tub and let me tell you, this girl's body was perfect, and all of us guys were definitely checking her out. For some reason, the focus came about me, and my man boobs when couple of my boys decided to put some hot tub foam on to my pecs, and let me tell you how embarrassed I was. And I knew then that any chance I had, if I ever did were over. When I came home, I was determined, and so I started to do something about it. So I really started to focus on a regimen for weight loss. I started with buying better foods. Still though, there were foods that I loved, that I didn't realize were bad for me, but after doing research on the Net, then I started to cut out some of these foods. I was also start being alot more mindful of what I eat. Even if was bad, I called myself out on it, and saying this isn't the best thing I've could of ate. I wouldn't punish myself, I would just say that the next meal I ate would be better. I started to read up on all things weight loss. Calories, carbs, proteins, fat, exercises, success stories for motivation, supplements, etc. But the first thing I did was to decrease my intake of my food, and I did this was alot of success. But a few things happened to me that I would like to discuss that led to the focus and determination that I have today.
2009 was the year Obama was sworn in, and despite what your party affiliation, you couldn't help but be proud of our country, but also the message that it sent. That in our country, despite the many pitfalls that you can fall into, if you really believe it, see it, and put your mind to it, can happen, and that's what the Obama presidency represented to me. So I really put this to heart, and was getting more focused on my diet and exercise. But also, 2009 is the year of the economic meltdown, and the company I was at really felt it. Sales were down, and the CEO felt changes needed to be made. So big boss, and my direct boss who really believed in me, and loved my work ethic and was promoted a few times under them, were fired. They thought they needed to bring in some new blood. So hired was a cut-throat Sales guy from a big time tech firm, and he came in with an agenda. He didn't understand my role, and I was too much inexperienced in what he was trying to do. But it didn't happen so fast, it was a couple months that I was under him before I was let go. But those two months sucked, and for the first time since I've been at the company, I really hated it. Our company was great, and it was a very great professional atmosphere and everyone loved the product. But like I said, he had an agenda, and he determined to weed out anyone that didn't fit his mold. He started by really micro-managing us, and it really became belittling. Every thing you can think of was being looked at, and with him not understanding my role, it led to alot of embarrassing moments, and worked just plain sucked. And like alot of us know, when work sucks, it takes your toll on you mentally. Even though I was doing ok with my nutrition and exercising, I was becoming very depressed, because even though I had gotten over alot of insecurities, and was feeling a little better about myself, I was still lonely and work was getting to me. I was deciding what direction I wanted to go career wise, and I was always intrigued by law school. I was a Political Science major, so law school was up my alley. I thought being a lawyer would be something I'm good at, and I wanted to have a career where you can really make a difference in people's live, and not just working for a damn quota. So I told myself when I would get let go, I would focus on studying for the LSAT. So as expected, I was let go, but I was OK with it. I was tired of working there, and I would of left alot earlier, but I definitely wanted to get the severance package, so that was the only thing keeping my motivated to come to work every day. The package was great, and getting let go was a good thing, because a college friend was getting married in Cancun, and I was working out and eating alot better by this time, because I really wanted to be in better shape for Cancun, and next year's reggae festival. So few weeks after getting let go, I was off to Cancun, and at this time, I was around 255. I was happy I was losing weight, but I knew that I had alot more to go. Even though I was a little more confident, and dropping some of my securities, I said fuck it, and took my shirt off on the beach. Had to go into the water, and it felt really good. I knew I definitely didn't have a beach body yet, but I was happier about myself. So a few weeks later, I was at the reggae festival, and I was able to get to 250 around then, and felt a little more confident. I hooked up with a girl there, and it felt great. And the whole vibe there is definitely rejuvenating, and I would recommend anyone to do something like that. So I get back, and I'm still really focused about everything, but something else would happen that would sharpen my focus. I had plenty of time, since I wasn't working, so I had no excuses to not being able to get in a workout or eat at home.
A few weeks later, my cousin had a massive heart attack was in the hospital for a month and a half. Dude was like my brother. We grew up together, and it really made and impact on me. At this time, I was definitely eating alot better. I was buying better foods, exercising more days out of the week, but still not satisfied with were I'm at. But the event with my cousin really impacted me, because he was 33, and was 6'3" 350. The only thing I could remember is my cousin and I eating some good food together at times. But what I remember the most was even though we would be eating these calorie rich foods, his portion size was so big, even I was like damn. But like me, he didn't pay two cents worth of attention to his calorie intake, and I believe that was the reason for his heart problems. His poor nutrition. They put him in a medically induced coma to help with his heart issues, and to drop his weight. Even though he wasn't responsive, I would go and visit him to get updates. I was studying for the LSATs at this time, and with this major event happening in my life, my studies took a back seat, even though I was scheduled to take them in a few weeks. What intrigued me was how they were feeding him during this time. They gave him through a tube, this medical protein (I think) and I remember asking them what it was. They told me the info, and they told me they had him on a 1000-1200 calorie intake a day on the machine, and my cousin was dropping weight fast. I started to think about this, and this was around the time, and really started to imply this too my diet. I was reading alot of info on calorie intake, and understanding how your calorie intake and your workout regimen was very key to weight loss. I started buy supplements like Acai Berry, and I even did a cardinal sin to many of the weight loss gurus I follow, and bought Hydroxycut. I was definitely eating alot better, and I was dropping weight, and I believe I was around 245. But this focus really came from the fear of one day, going through what my cousin was. I didn't want to deal with the problems that come with not being able to control my caloric intake in a day. This was a very depressing time for me with alot of pressure coming from everywhere, but I was still maintaining my diet. At this time, I broke my arm, so this hampered me from doing my bodyweight exercises. This is when my weight loss got stagnant, and this added to my depression. I even got back up to 250, and I was really not feeling too good about myself. But this was around the time I was definitely feeling a little more confident sexually, since I was having sex with some chick from time to time. She wasn't too hot, but like I was saying in Part 2, you have to practice with some minor leaguers for the pros. I can also say that my sexual confidence went hand and hand with my weight loss, and is one of the reason I believe getting over that insecurity was really key to my weight loss. You can say that this event became my second level of focus.
There was the woman I worked with at my old company that I can say that she was a great friend to me. Even outside the workplace, we became very close, and even though she was sexy as hell, and I really just at the time, wanted her as a friend, because she was a wonderful woman, and with my history of rejection, sure that she wouldn't even consider as a mate, so that mindset just kinda set in, and I was fine with it. I really enjoyed her company, and didn't want awkwardness in our relationship. But when I left the company, I did miss her. I saw her everyday, and I looked forward to it. But it wasn't until I was in Cancun that I realized that I really do like her. Weddings can really get you mooshy about love, and all I could think about was her. So I told myself that when I get back, I was gonna go for it. I had the fantasy in my mind that she wanted me to come on to her, and we would hook up. And she was definitely relationship material. So a few weeks when I got back, and some liquid courage, we were out drinking at a spot, and I laid it on her. It went really bad, and she of course, didn't except my invitation, and I was devastated. I really went into a depressive state. Not will I be intimate with her, our friendship would be hampered. But with that came another level of focus, and I wouldn't say it was out of revenge. That's too strong of a word. I'll say this would be more of proving all these bitches that dissed me wrong. I know alot of you feel me on this, because rejection sucks, and all men have to deal with it. But we deal with it more often than others. And I knew that my appearance was the only reason she wasn't feeling me like that. We connected on so many levels, but the main thing was that she was not attracted to me. She didn't have to say it. I knew. So that was a catalyst for my next level of focused. Because I didn't want to be rejected anymore because of my appearance. I liked hot chicks, and chicks like her could definitely pull better looking men than me. So I was determined to make sure that I didn't want to be rejected because of that reason anymore. Say you don't like my personality, my style, or something along that lines. But in the future, I wasn't going to be rejected because of my appearance. I was really focused now, buying better foods, eating for purpose, not for pleasure, and really getting in a routine of cardio that I really enjoyed. And now the pounds were shedding. Around this time, I dropped down to 240, and then, I was down to 235. After healing from my injury, I was really hitting the bodyweight workouts. I know I was really focused because I was constantly reading on weight loss theories, and supplements that assist in weight loss, checking out success stories. And as soon as I felt my arm was healed, I was hitting the bodyweights workouts right away. Even though my wrist was sore, and it did hamper my ability to do pushups, I found out that if I did fist pushups, my wrist didn't hurt, so started doing those, and was getting a great workout, and felt great that I could push through that. People were noticing my weight loss. And for someone who was working as hard as I am on my diet and exercises, this was awesome, and it was like a drug. I wanted more. And the best test is the mom test. Your mom knows you inside out. And throughout my life, my mom would always give me little comments on how I was looking. There was a few times that when I came home from college, that she commented that I was getting bigger. But recently, my mom has been from complimentary on my weight loss, and she said that it looked like I have dropped about 60 pounds since I've been home from college. But not just her, but alot of my friends were saying it, and I was loving it. I wanted it more, and I was determined more than ever. At this time, too even my belief, I was getting very confident sexually. I was feeling more predatory than I ever felt before, and confidence in the bed works wonders for you mentally. I had three women in rotation, and they were coming back for more. Now, since my girlfriend in high school, I never had a repeat customer if you know what I mean. But just getting over the sexual insecurity earlier made it easier for me mentally, and knew that it wasn't no big deal, just do it. I was loving it, and I was wanting more. So my determination to get a better body was keen. I was getting good at my sexual craft, and I knew that if I keep it up, by the time I get the body I want, I would be very experienced. Like I said, I was down to 235, and was really working consistently, and my diet was really good. Learning about the chemistry of our bodies really enlightened me to the biology of weight loss, and what basic principles that you need to lose weight. But even with that, I still had another level of focus, which led me to starting this blog.
About 10 days ago, I was feeling really good and confident. I had a steady rotation of women, and I was having sex more than any time in my life. I was pretty amazed by my sex skills, and my stamina was really good. A few times a week, I would often look for weight loss articles, and tips to help me along. I knew what I was doing was good, but again, I wasn't all that confident in my knowledge of my weight loss. And even though I was losing weight, and I was definitely seeing changes in my body, and getting compliments from friends, I guess you can say that I was definitely going at it alone, and was learning on a fly, and using my research skills to filter out the bullshit, and see what are the true dynamics of weight loss. From time to time, I would like to look at success stories, and see what they did to get where they are. I would suggest doing that, because it really helps to see people doing it, and know that it can be done. But I came across one, and the guy named was Muata. Reading his success story, I really loved what he was saying, and it mentioned he had a blog. I clicked on it, and there it was, Mr. Low Body Fat. You talk about a reading binge, I was amazed at the amount of info that was on this site, and reading Muata story was very touching, and his motivation for starting the blog really intrigued me. He stated that he was once a Big Dawg, and talked about everything I could relate to about being obese. But it was the way he tells you, it really can't help but motivate you. He talked about his experience, what he did to lose the weight, and how he maintains it, and what simple steps you need to do to lose weight. Like I said, he was obese to, and it's great to get info from someone who has done it, and still is. Again, I will say, GO TO MR. LOW BODY FAT! You will find tons of articles, and Muata is great about responding to comments, and that is very encouraging. I think I went through all the articles on his site in 3 days, and now, I'm more focused than ever. Almost zen-like. He reaffirmed alot of my knowledge, and I was more confident in my current nutrition and workout. It's a site for men, so he writes in our type of language. And reading everything on there, I became inspired. And the one articles series that I love was the Big Dawg series, which gave me the idea to start this. In this series, he talks to you in real talk, and doesn't beat around the bushes. But not only that, but just the plethora of info that he simplifies for us is great. But what was awesome is the info on what to expect on your weight loss journey. Even though, I was losing scale weight, and getting some definition in my body, the bain of my existence, my belly fat was still there. It almost seemed that everywhere else on my body was looking better expect for my abdomen, and that is kinda of frustrating, and I'm sure is one reason why some many people give up, because they don't see the results that they're expecting in a certain time. But he broke it down that this is expected, and reading about the biology of the body, and fat storage, I now had an understanding that for men, the belly fat is where most fat is stored in most cases, compared to women who carry it in they hips and thighs. And in most cases, this is normal in weight loss, and the belly fat will be on of the last things to go. Everything will seemed to be getting toned up, and your pants feel a lot more looser, but you don't see you belly fat swelling up like the rest of your body. This did wonders for me mentally, so now when I look in the mirror, I know that keeping up with me current regimen, with some little tweaks from the info from Muata, that in due time, I will lose the belly fat. So like I said, since finding his site, I've been more focused on my weight loss journey than ever. Since then, I've dropped 5 pounds and now weighing 230. I haven't been this weight since I was 20.
So in conclusion, I'm still on my journey. I'm currently 230, and losing weight consistently, thanks to my nutrition, caloric intake, and daily activities. I want to share with you my journey, so maybe you can be inspired to finally start taking control of your life. Hey, if your happy with yourself, then more power to you. But I can't imagine any person overweight in our society that enjoys being that, unless your an lineman for football. So stop lying to yourself, and make a change. I did, and I'm nothing special. My life has have the ups and downs, and I wouldn't change it for nothing. I'm a true believer in everything happens for a reason. I've been overweight and obese for my entire life, and I'm tired of being trapped in my current body. Even in the midst of my journey, I'm definitely a more confident man, and can't remember anytime in my life that I'm looking towards the future. I hope my story, and my site can help you on your journey, because trust me Big Dawg, the sacrifice you make now will pay dividends for you in the future. Take it from me, I was obese, insecure, and lonely. Now, I have never been happier in my life, even though I'm far from my goal body which is 205 (I was able to calculate the amont of lean muscle mass I have, and getting t 205 with get me to about 15-17% body fat. My mind has done a 180, and I know longer crave calorie rich foods. But if i do, I don't let it get me off track, and keep mind of it, and make sure that the next meal I eat will be a much healthier, low calorie meal. Just to give you an idea of where I am now, reading my story, I've could of easily just felt sorry for myself, accepted failure, and continue my current path of sadness and lonliness, just accept what it is. But there is a saying, "men do what the want, boys do what they can". What are you a boy, or a man? A few nights ago, I was having sex with this girl. I made her cum twice and pass out. Since I was not tired, I proceeded to toke a bowl, and play Call of Duty for an hour before I went to sleep. I sat there, and couldn't help but think, and said to myself, this is what life should be like. A few years ago, I couldn't have ever dreamed of that. More than a physical journey, weight loss is a mental journey, and you have to have a made up mind to say fuck it, and do it. I will try to show you my methods, and again, I'm no expert at all, and I will not try to act like I do. I'm just gonna keep it real, and hopefully, that helps you to start your journey. I believe this blog is a good way to keep me motivated, and hopefully help someone else.
2009 rolls around, and it starts out with a bang with spending a great time at a winter ski resort, with some friends. I had a feeling that 2009 would be weird, but with my somewhat bleak outlook at life, I figured the worst would always outweigh the better. I remember at the resort, met this girl who was gorgeous, and she was staying in the same cabin with me and all the boys. We all got drunk, it was an awesome time. Then of course, the call of the hot tub came, and I was hella down. I would never forget this, and the would be a catalyst of what would be the beginning of me really focusing on my weight. We're all in the hot tub and let me tell you, this girl's body was perfect, and all of us guys were definitely checking her out. For some reason, the focus came about me, and my man boobs when couple of my boys decided to put some hot tub foam on to my pecs, and let me tell you how embarrassed I was. And I knew then that any chance I had, if I ever did were over. When I came home, I was determined, and so I started to do something about it. So I really started to focus on a regimen for weight loss. I started with buying better foods. Still though, there were foods that I loved, that I didn't realize were bad for me, but after doing research on the Net, then I started to cut out some of these foods. I was also start being alot more mindful of what I eat. Even if was bad, I called myself out on it, and saying this isn't the best thing I've could of ate. I wouldn't punish myself, I would just say that the next meal I ate would be better. I started to read up on all things weight loss. Calories, carbs, proteins, fat, exercises, success stories for motivation, supplements, etc. But the first thing I did was to decrease my intake of my food, and I did this was alot of success. But a few things happened to me that I would like to discuss that led to the focus and determination that I have today.
2009 was the year Obama was sworn in, and despite what your party affiliation, you couldn't help but be proud of our country, but also the message that it sent. That in our country, despite the many pitfalls that you can fall into, if you really believe it, see it, and put your mind to it, can happen, and that's what the Obama presidency represented to me. So I really put this to heart, and was getting more focused on my diet and exercise. But also, 2009 is the year of the economic meltdown, and the company I was at really felt it. Sales were down, and the CEO felt changes needed to be made. So big boss, and my direct boss who really believed in me, and loved my work ethic and was promoted a few times under them, were fired. They thought they needed to bring in some new blood. So hired was a cut-throat Sales guy from a big time tech firm, and he came in with an agenda. He didn't understand my role, and I was too much inexperienced in what he was trying to do. But it didn't happen so fast, it was a couple months that I was under him before I was let go. But those two months sucked, and for the first time since I've been at the company, I really hated it. Our company was great, and it was a very great professional atmosphere and everyone loved the product. But like I said, he had an agenda, and he determined to weed out anyone that didn't fit his mold. He started by really micro-managing us, and it really became belittling. Every thing you can think of was being looked at, and with him not understanding my role, it led to alot of embarrassing moments, and worked just plain sucked. And like alot of us know, when work sucks, it takes your toll on you mentally. Even though I was doing ok with my nutrition and exercising, I was becoming very depressed, because even though I had gotten over alot of insecurities, and was feeling a little better about myself, I was still lonely and work was getting to me. I was deciding what direction I wanted to go career wise, and I was always intrigued by law school. I was a Political Science major, so law school was up my alley. I thought being a lawyer would be something I'm good at, and I wanted to have a career where you can really make a difference in people's live, and not just working for a damn quota. So I told myself when I would get let go, I would focus on studying for the LSAT. So as expected, I was let go, but I was OK with it. I was tired of working there, and I would of left alot earlier, but I definitely wanted to get the severance package, so that was the only thing keeping my motivated to come to work every day. The package was great, and getting let go was a good thing, because a college friend was getting married in Cancun, and I was working out and eating alot better by this time, because I really wanted to be in better shape for Cancun, and next year's reggae festival. So few weeks after getting let go, I was off to Cancun, and at this time, I was around 255. I was happy I was losing weight, but I knew that I had alot more to go. Even though I was a little more confident, and dropping some of my securities, I said fuck it, and took my shirt off on the beach. Had to go into the water, and it felt really good. I knew I definitely didn't have a beach body yet, but I was happier about myself. So a few weeks later, I was at the reggae festival, and I was able to get to 250 around then, and felt a little more confident. I hooked up with a girl there, and it felt great. And the whole vibe there is definitely rejuvenating, and I would recommend anyone to do something like that. So I get back, and I'm still really focused about everything, but something else would happen that would sharpen my focus. I had plenty of time, since I wasn't working, so I had no excuses to not being able to get in a workout or eat at home.
A few weeks later, my cousin had a massive heart attack was in the hospital for a month and a half. Dude was like my brother. We grew up together, and it really made and impact on me. At this time, I was definitely eating alot better. I was buying better foods, exercising more days out of the week, but still not satisfied with were I'm at. But the event with my cousin really impacted me, because he was 33, and was 6'3" 350. The only thing I could remember is my cousin and I eating some good food together at times. But what I remember the most was even though we would be eating these calorie rich foods, his portion size was so big, even I was like damn. But like me, he didn't pay two cents worth of attention to his calorie intake, and I believe that was the reason for his heart problems. His poor nutrition. They put him in a medically induced coma to help with his heart issues, and to drop his weight. Even though he wasn't responsive, I would go and visit him to get updates. I was studying for the LSATs at this time, and with this major event happening in my life, my studies took a back seat, even though I was scheduled to take them in a few weeks. What intrigued me was how they were feeding him during this time. They gave him through a tube, this medical protein (I think) and I remember asking them what it was. They told me the info, and they told me they had him on a 1000-1200 calorie intake a day on the machine, and my cousin was dropping weight fast. I started to think about this, and this was around the time, and really started to imply this too my diet. I was reading alot of info on calorie intake, and understanding how your calorie intake and your workout regimen was very key to weight loss. I started buy supplements like Acai Berry, and I even did a cardinal sin to many of the weight loss gurus I follow, and bought Hydroxycut. I was definitely eating alot better, and I was dropping weight, and I believe I was around 245. But this focus really came from the fear of one day, going through what my cousin was. I didn't want to deal with the problems that come with not being able to control my caloric intake in a day. This was a very depressing time for me with alot of pressure coming from everywhere, but I was still maintaining my diet. At this time, I broke my arm, so this hampered me from doing my bodyweight exercises. This is when my weight loss got stagnant, and this added to my depression. I even got back up to 250, and I was really not feeling too good about myself. But this was around the time I was definitely feeling a little more confident sexually, since I was having sex with some chick from time to time. She wasn't too hot, but like I was saying in Part 2, you have to practice with some minor leaguers for the pros. I can also say that my sexual confidence went hand and hand with my weight loss, and is one of the reason I believe getting over that insecurity was really key to my weight loss. You can say that this event became my second level of focus.
There was the woman I worked with at my old company that I can say that she was a great friend to me. Even outside the workplace, we became very close, and even though she was sexy as hell, and I really just at the time, wanted her as a friend, because she was a wonderful woman, and with my history of rejection, sure that she wouldn't even consider as a mate, so that mindset just kinda set in, and I was fine with it. I really enjoyed her company, and didn't want awkwardness in our relationship. But when I left the company, I did miss her. I saw her everyday, and I looked forward to it. But it wasn't until I was in Cancun that I realized that I really do like her. Weddings can really get you mooshy about love, and all I could think about was her. So I told myself that when I get back, I was gonna go for it. I had the fantasy in my mind that she wanted me to come on to her, and we would hook up. And she was definitely relationship material. So a few weeks when I got back, and some liquid courage, we were out drinking at a spot, and I laid it on her. It went really bad, and she of course, didn't except my invitation, and I was devastated. I really went into a depressive state. Not will I be intimate with her, our friendship would be hampered. But with that came another level of focus, and I wouldn't say it was out of revenge. That's too strong of a word. I'll say this would be more of proving all these bitches that dissed me wrong. I know alot of you feel me on this, because rejection sucks, and all men have to deal with it. But we deal with it more often than others. And I knew that my appearance was the only reason she wasn't feeling me like that. We connected on so many levels, but the main thing was that she was not attracted to me. She didn't have to say it. I knew. So that was a catalyst for my next level of focused. Because I didn't want to be rejected anymore because of my appearance. I liked hot chicks, and chicks like her could definitely pull better looking men than me. So I was determined to make sure that I didn't want to be rejected because of that reason anymore. Say you don't like my personality, my style, or something along that lines. But in the future, I wasn't going to be rejected because of my appearance. I was really focused now, buying better foods, eating for purpose, not for pleasure, and really getting in a routine of cardio that I really enjoyed. And now the pounds were shedding. Around this time, I dropped down to 240, and then, I was down to 235. After healing from my injury, I was really hitting the bodyweight workouts. I know I was really focused because I was constantly reading on weight loss theories, and supplements that assist in weight loss, checking out success stories. And as soon as I felt my arm was healed, I was hitting the bodyweights workouts right away. Even though my wrist was sore, and it did hamper my ability to do pushups, I found out that if I did fist pushups, my wrist didn't hurt, so started doing those, and was getting a great workout, and felt great that I could push through that. People were noticing my weight loss. And for someone who was working as hard as I am on my diet and exercises, this was awesome, and it was like a drug. I wanted more. And the best test is the mom test. Your mom knows you inside out. And throughout my life, my mom would always give me little comments on how I was looking. There was a few times that when I came home from college, that she commented that I was getting bigger. But recently, my mom has been from complimentary on my weight loss, and she said that it looked like I have dropped about 60 pounds since I've been home from college. But not just her, but alot of my friends were saying it, and I was loving it. I wanted it more, and I was determined more than ever. At this time, too even my belief, I was getting very confident sexually. I was feeling more predatory than I ever felt before, and confidence in the bed works wonders for you mentally. I had three women in rotation, and they were coming back for more. Now, since my girlfriend in high school, I never had a repeat customer if you know what I mean. But just getting over the sexual insecurity earlier made it easier for me mentally, and knew that it wasn't no big deal, just do it. I was loving it, and I was wanting more. So my determination to get a better body was keen. I was getting good at my sexual craft, and I knew that if I keep it up, by the time I get the body I want, I would be very experienced. Like I said, I was down to 235, and was really working consistently, and my diet was really good. Learning about the chemistry of our bodies really enlightened me to the biology of weight loss, and what basic principles that you need to lose weight. But even with that, I still had another level of focus, which led me to starting this blog.
About 10 days ago, I was feeling really good and confident. I had a steady rotation of women, and I was having sex more than any time in my life. I was pretty amazed by my sex skills, and my stamina was really good. A few times a week, I would often look for weight loss articles, and tips to help me along. I knew what I was doing was good, but again, I wasn't all that confident in my knowledge of my weight loss. And even though I was losing weight, and I was definitely seeing changes in my body, and getting compliments from friends, I guess you can say that I was definitely going at it alone, and was learning on a fly, and using my research skills to filter out the bullshit, and see what are the true dynamics of weight loss. From time to time, I would like to look at success stories, and see what they did to get where they are. I would suggest doing that, because it really helps to see people doing it, and know that it can be done. But I came across one, and the guy named was Muata. Reading his success story, I really loved what he was saying, and it mentioned he had a blog. I clicked on it, and there it was, Mr. Low Body Fat. You talk about a reading binge, I was amazed at the amount of info that was on this site, and reading Muata story was very touching, and his motivation for starting the blog really intrigued me. He stated that he was once a Big Dawg, and talked about everything I could relate to about being obese. But it was the way he tells you, it really can't help but motivate you. He talked about his experience, what he did to lose the weight, and how he maintains it, and what simple steps you need to do to lose weight. Like I said, he was obese to, and it's great to get info from someone who has done it, and still is. Again, I will say, GO TO MR. LOW BODY FAT! You will find tons of articles, and Muata is great about responding to comments, and that is very encouraging. I think I went through all the articles on his site in 3 days, and now, I'm more focused than ever. Almost zen-like. He reaffirmed alot of my knowledge, and I was more confident in my current nutrition and workout. It's a site for men, so he writes in our type of language. And reading everything on there, I became inspired. And the one articles series that I love was the Big Dawg series, which gave me the idea to start this. In this series, he talks to you in real talk, and doesn't beat around the bushes. But not only that, but just the plethora of info that he simplifies for us is great. But what was awesome is the info on what to expect on your weight loss journey. Even though, I was losing scale weight, and getting some definition in my body, the bain of my existence, my belly fat was still there. It almost seemed that everywhere else on my body was looking better expect for my abdomen, and that is kinda of frustrating, and I'm sure is one reason why some many people give up, because they don't see the results that they're expecting in a certain time. But he broke it down that this is expected, and reading about the biology of the body, and fat storage, I now had an understanding that for men, the belly fat is where most fat is stored in most cases, compared to women who carry it in they hips and thighs. And in most cases, this is normal in weight loss, and the belly fat will be on of the last things to go. Everything will seemed to be getting toned up, and your pants feel a lot more looser, but you don't see you belly fat swelling up like the rest of your body. This did wonders for me mentally, so now when I look in the mirror, I know that keeping up with me current regimen, with some little tweaks from the info from Muata, that in due time, I will lose the belly fat. So like I said, since finding his site, I've been more focused on my weight loss journey than ever. Since then, I've dropped 5 pounds and now weighing 230. I haven't been this weight since I was 20.
So in conclusion, I'm still on my journey. I'm currently 230, and losing weight consistently, thanks to my nutrition, caloric intake, and daily activities. I want to share with you my journey, so maybe you can be inspired to finally start taking control of your life. Hey, if your happy with yourself, then more power to you. But I can't imagine any person overweight in our society that enjoys being that, unless your an lineman for football. So stop lying to yourself, and make a change. I did, and I'm nothing special. My life has have the ups and downs, and I wouldn't change it for nothing. I'm a true believer in everything happens for a reason. I've been overweight and obese for my entire life, and I'm tired of being trapped in my current body. Even in the midst of my journey, I'm definitely a more confident man, and can't remember anytime in my life that I'm looking towards the future. I hope my story, and my site can help you on your journey, because trust me Big Dawg, the sacrifice you make now will pay dividends for you in the future. Take it from me, I was obese, insecure, and lonely. Now, I have never been happier in my life, even though I'm far from my goal body which is 205 (I was able to calculate the amont of lean muscle mass I have, and getting t 205 with get me to about 15-17% body fat. My mind has done a 180, and I know longer crave calorie rich foods. But if i do, I don't let it get me off track, and keep mind of it, and make sure that the next meal I eat will be a much healthier, low calorie meal. Just to give you an idea of where I am now, reading my story, I've could of easily just felt sorry for myself, accepted failure, and continue my current path of sadness and lonliness, just accept what it is. But there is a saying, "men do what the want, boys do what they can". What are you a boy, or a man? A few nights ago, I was having sex with this girl. I made her cum twice and pass out. Since I was not tired, I proceeded to toke a bowl, and play Call of Duty for an hour before I went to sleep. I sat there, and couldn't help but think, and said to myself, this is what life should be like. A few years ago, I couldn't have ever dreamed of that. More than a physical journey, weight loss is a mental journey, and you have to have a made up mind to say fuck it, and do it. I will try to show you my methods, and again, I'm no expert at all, and I will not try to act like I do. I'm just gonna keep it real, and hopefully, that helps you to start your journey. I believe this blog is a good way to keep me motivated, and hopefully help someone else.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
My Journey Part 2
2005-2008 Post-college years
I've just got out of college, and living back in the Bay Area. As a graduation gift, I went on a cruise with some family, and that was great. I can say that was around the first time after school, that I had some inclination that I should do something about my weight. Not being able to take off my shirt in that nice weather was frustrating, but still had a great time. Definitely was trying to get with chicks on the boat, but no luck. But I was used to this by this time. But all in all, it was awesome. Feeling real good, because I just got my degree, and looking to take on the world. In the back of my mind, I knew I had to do something about my weight, because I was definitely not satisfied with it. So at this time, I'm living with my mom, and still not caring about what I eat. I was broke coming out, so whatever I could get my hands on that was cheap and good, that was good for me. I would just go to the Burger King and burgers, and other crap like that. To my surprise, when I came home, there was a Panda Express, and while I in college, an I-N-Out Burger opened up very close to home (If you never had I-N Out Burger, you have to try it. It is the best burger hands down. This might be counter productive, but if you follow my advice, you will able to have fast food once in a while and not feel bad about it. But the main thing about what I will tell you in this blog is to be mindful of how much of it you eat.). So I started just eating out all the time, and my mom would have the ingredients to make my favorite breakfast that I pretty much survived on in college, over easy eggs, pork sausages, and hasbrowns. So this went on, but at some point, I knew I had to cut down, so I did, and I started working out at the local gym, and playing some basketball occasionally. So as this time went on, I was still getting rejected by women, and it was just taking a toll on me. But times got to be a little better, because I landed a dream job testing video games, and I loved it. I love vids, and still do today. I as an vidot, this was heaven. But it was definitely alot of sitting. So I was living a pretty sedentary life, but I was loving my job. I was making decent money, but the main thing is that I'm making money playing the one thing I love doing (In college, there was alot of nights of Halo and Madden. It really helps takes your mind off of things, and believe or not, I will tell you how vids can help with weight loss. I know it 's crazy, but I'll explain later.). Still a overweight and lonely, I thought I needed something to boost my confidence. I hated living with my mom, and I also hated not having a car. I decided one of these things would help with my confidence, and help me get some chicks. So I decided instead of moving out, I would get a car. And man, did I get one. I got an Audi, and it was beautiful. This gave me so much confidence. It's crazy what a new car can do for a man's confidence. I was getting looks, and I loving my new ride. I thought this would be the key to end my loneliness, and chicks were going to come. But in reality, I was just trying to cover my insecurities. Hide my fatness. Man, was I wrong. Even though I was very happy at this point, there was one thing I longed. A touch of another woman. So I was still working playing video games, and I knew I had to make more money. I was a college graduate for God's sake. I knew I deserved to get paid better, so I tried applying within the company, but I was getting no where. So I decided to leave the job I loved so much, and search for that big paying job.
So after months of searching, got a job at a company in downtown SF. Man, I was stoked. By this time, it was 2007, and I remember in the summer of 2007, I was doing some type of dieting, I think I was eating a little better, and playing b-ball. I also had a boxing bag, so I would workout on that, letting of frustrations about life and the rejection of countless of women. I started getting in to bodyweight exercises by then. Because I didn't want to go to the gym, but I want to get a good workout. I was always good at doing pushups, and would do alot in my youth. I would do them time from time to make me feel good throughout my life, because I always thought that I could still do pushups, that meant I was not too out of shape. I could always bust out 20 in a row. But I started really focusing on it as a workout, and and one point, I could do 50 in a row. So been working out lately, and landing a great job, I was feeling good at this point, and I thought now, the girls would be rolling in. I was a catch, why wouldn't they want me? I was making 55K a year, nice car. And a few months later, I finally moved out of my mom's house, and moved to the city. So I was really feeling good. But still, I was not getting any play, and it was taking its toll. Around this time, I start to do alot of soul searching, and I suggest you all do that too. I started reflecting on my life, and the rejection I received because of my weight. I thought I was a good person with alot going for myself, but I was very insecure about alot of things, and I had to find out why. So I went through trying to change my personality. I wanted to stop being nice. I started being an asshole, when this was not me at all. But I knew that I had to stop being so damn nice. I knew this is something that turns off women. So I started reading books, and looking for info on the Internet about how to attract women. I was hearing about all of the bullshit about pretty much be a douchebag, and I was eating it up. So this was a period where I was trying to change my personality. I'll have to say, it was hard being an asshole. I'm generally a nice person, and it's not in my nature. So I would say that the first in my journey was to find out who I am. I had alot of insecurities, so being nice was my way of masking it. I know we all hate when a girls says your so nice, and all that bullshit that he's my friend. That shit pissed me the hell off. So you can imagine being a generally nice person, then adding my insecurities, then you just had a bowl of mess. So I knew I had to change something, but I didn't change my personality. I thought I was just boring, and I didn't have alot to offer, so any woman that would give me any attention, I would kiss her feet. But I knew I had alot to offer, and I had to stop pleasing people and have women earn my respect. And this should apply in all aspects of life. So lets just say I tweaked my personality, and had the idea that I didn't care what people think of me. And then I got into the notion that you know, women are just going to reject you for various of reason. So I shouldn't get so caught up in getting reject, and I just needed to put myself out there. If you fall, just get right back up, and go find another. There's one out there for me. This worked wonders for me mentally, and I would say was a key step in my weight loss journey, because I had to learn a thing or too. I decided I was gonna be who I am, but be a stand up man. I'm a nice guy, and that's who I am. But a woman has to earn my niceness. Listen, I never really had a male figure in my life. I knew my dad, and I talked to him alot, and he loves me alot, and I love him too. But I didn't know how to be man, and approach this world. My mom, bless her heart, couldn't teach me that. She was a very devout Christian, and grew up heavily in the church. So you can imagine how much impact it had on me. To be honest, I hated church. I never felt the what the big hoopla was all about, but I went with the motions, but I can say I was definitely a god fearing christian growing up, but was not to christian-like things, which messed me up. But as I grew up, I started to drift away from Christianity, and understood that you don't need to find God through the church. This is a subject I will touch on from time to time in the future, because this did have a profound impact on my life and in my weight loss journey. But anyways, like I was saying, I had to learn alot of things on my own. Then I started to realize that my mother didn't instill me with good eating habits. Not blaming her, but I wish she instilled me with calorie counting, because if I knew that then, I wouldn't be what I am now, trying to lose weight. So with this soul searching period, I changed for the better, and I can say that period really helped in for me, and it did pay dividends. I definitely am a social butterfly. I love going out with friends, and partying. But still didn't know what to do about the women issue. I made major changes mentally, but I was a more confident man, and at this point, I wasn't getting over my nervousness of women, and was better at carrying on a conversation. But still, there was some other insecurities that I had to get over.
Not only was I insecure about me, and who I am, I was definitely insecure sexually. I know this is a touchy subject, and it's even hard for me to talk about, but I'm doing this to help you Big Dawg. Now, there's alot of us when it comes to penis size, they're showers and growers. Look it up, and you can find out more. But lets say I'm a big grower. What this means is that given that my penis is not to impressive on soft, on hard, I'm alot better than average. But I was so insecure about it, all I could see was my soft penis, even though I was doing fine on hard. So you can imagine what toll this took on me mentally, being overweight with a small soft penis. I really believe I couldn't satisfy a woman. But I knew I had to get over this. Because I want to meet a woman who could one day have my kids. I really want kids, and want to have kids with the right woman, so knew this was an important step to get over. So lets go over my sexual history for a second. In high school, I didn't care too much for some reason, but was still mindful. I can count the girls on my hand that I had sex with, but I did hook up with some alot, but never got to the getting off the pants part. And in SB, I didn't do anything, and college, I had a girlfriend once, and we had sex once, and it was like for a few minutes, and she or I didn't cum. It was soon after, we broke up. I'm sure it was I was so terrible in bed, but in my mind, I thought it was definitely my size. So my confidence was shot. But even before that, a year before college, I had some wild sex with some chick to this day, I couldn't tell you who she was. But it was cool, because I just figured that I was the smallest thing she's ever seen, and that was that, but the sex was good for me. So since 2000, I'd had sex with 2 chicks. So that's about 8 freaking years. I was getting frustrated. So I had to do something. So what did I do, hit up the Internet and do some research (on another note, the Internet has changed my life. I was able to look up alot of information to help me in my journey. I'm forever grateful to it). It had to see if there's anyone out there with my same problem. I found alot of info, and it did the obvious thing to do, and measure my penis to see where I stack up. It's crazy what the mind does to you, and your self image, because I couldn't believe what I was reading. After doing measurements, I found out that I was very well endowed when it came game time. Like better the 65% of the world population. So I had to tell my self that I was indeed capable of pleasing a women, and had to get over it. So I decided to just go ahead and dive in. And I hate to say this, but it's only human nature to hear about other people's problems, and feel better about yourself, because I would read about some sizes and say damn. But what you learn is that no matter how you hang, it's all good. All a woman needs is stamina, and a man who knows what they're doing. But anyways, like anything you would like to do, and get better at, you had to start doing it. I was lucky at this time to catch the eyes of this chick. I this time, I dropped down to around 265, and feeling little better about myself. This leads in to my motivation for wanting to drop the weight. I LIKE HOT CHICKS! Don't we all? I don't want to settle for someone just because that's the best I can get. And when I think about it, I can remember for years, I could of had sex with some less than stellar woman, but I was just so damn picky, and didn't want to lower my standards. How does that sound, I'm the one who doesn't want to lower my standards, and I'm asking these hot chicks to do it for me. I was pretty lucky in high school to get some pretty good tail. I was the captain of the football team, and I was dating the really hot head cheerleader. So my standards were high. I had to get real with myself, because if I want to make my way up back to the majors, I'm gonna have to practice with some minor leaguers if you know what I mean. So like I was saying, caught the eye of this chick, and she was down. She was OK, but not something I would be drawn to, but I was like fuck it. I had to dive in, and put some training wheels before I can ride the bike. So even though I was scared as shit, and thought I was be terrible, when I pulled it out for the first time in years, she said my penis was perfect! It was the first thing she said. Do you know how much that did for my confidence? Then we ended having great sex, and I did better than I expected. I think the years of watching porn, and "studying" finally paid off. So after that, I was feeling real good, just got a huge monkey off my back. So I was thinking, I was back in the game. I was looking at women differently. So this was an important process in my journey, getting over my sexual security.
So when 2008 comes around, and I can say this was a defining year in my journey. I landed the job in late 2007, and was feeling good about 2008. This is when I started feeling very insecure about my body. I was committed to do something about it. This is when I went through my soul searching that I just talked about. In the early part of the year, I wasn't worried too much about the rejection. I was a changed man mentally, and I wasn't going to let it get to me anymore, but everyone has their breaking point, and it came from two women. I started working out, and looking at changing my diet. Toward mid year in 2008, I decided one thing I could do is drop soda, and switch to diet. I loved soda, and this something i knew I had to do. It was unnecessary calories, and I told myself I will learn to like diet soda. I never liked it, but I consciously changed it. I also tried to cut down on my eating too, but there was too many foods that I liked. Even though it helped in my nutrition, I think that just kept me stagnant at my weight which was dancing around 265-270. But another thing that gave made me want to do something about it was that damn Facebook and Myspace. I hated looking at my pictures, and still do to this day, because I always looked fat. And I hated that everyone would be able to see my fat ass. And as it got more popular, more and more of my friends wanted to take pictures for their pages, and I would oblige, because I didn't want to be rude, and I definitely didn't want to tell them that I don't want pictures of me up for the whole to see me. So I would see constant updates of how I was looking. In the past, I had the "luxury" of not having to see myself often, since Facebook and Myspace started to get popular during the middle of my college years. But now, I thank them for forcing me to accept reality. I need to get in shape. But in mid 2008, I met this fine woman, and I was really trying to lock it down. She was so hot, and she was really feeling me, and I was feeling the same towards her. But this was before I got over my sexual insecurities, so I didn't approach it in the right way. We dated, for a couple months, but wasn't anything in stone, but I liked for what it is at the time. I was so insecure sexually, I wasn't trippin about having sex with her yet. I was just happy to have this hot chick on my side when we went out. But I was getting to the point were I wanted to be together officially, and I really wanted to have sex with her. She was kinda iffy on the whole thing, and I was definitely putting myself out there, and looking stupid. This was abou the time an event happened that was change my life, and it was a good thing. For years and years, I've always heard about was this event, Reggae on the River, and wanted to go for years. But the stars were aligned for this year. I had a great job, so I could definitely afford it, and I was planning for months with friends to go. But this girl I was talking about came in to my life, and I wanted to do something for her. I decided that I wanted to go do an weekend excursion in Monterey. If you never been there, it is a very beautiful city, and very romantic. I would love to get married there some day. But I definitely wanted to spend it with a special someone. So I was gonna flake on my friends, and do the weekend thing with this girl. I knew I couldn't afford to do the weekend thing, and go to this event, so I made a choice. But in retrospect, everything happens for a reason. Since I knew the event was a event where you wanna try to look your best in the least possible clothes, I started to increase my bodyweight excersises, and was getting trying to look as best as I can for the event. So just before the event, the girl told me she didn't want to go, and was backing out. I was devastated, so me being pissed as hell, I decided to the event. Before I went, I was definitely a novice reggae fan. I appreciated the music, but never really got in to it. But this event, and reggae music has changed my life forever. I would always say do a musical event like this. You go into the middle of nowhere, with thousands of people around, positive energy, and the most amazing musical performances I've ever seen. This event changed my life for many of reasons. This music gave me a consciousness of self respect, and being yourself. And for some reason, when I hear this music, I can't stop moving. I've always loved dancing, and was pretty good at it, but reggae music really brought out of me. I enjoyed the music and it changed my life, and now, a very advt reggae fan. But I can say, besides the cruise, this was my first even where I wish I was in shape and could take off my shirt. There were some fine looking women there, and wish I had the the body some of my friends had. Since I was having such a great time, and planned on coming to this event every year for a long time, I told my self by this time next year, I was gonna be in alot better shape.
So after this event, this were things with this girl got interesting. So after toying with me for a while, and she telling me for a few weeks she really liked me, and me catching deep feelings for her, she dropped a bomb on me, and told me she was dating someone else, and was gonna roll with that guy. She pretty much told me she was not attracted to me. This was profound to me, and I went into deep depressive state at this point. It was finally enough, and I had to deal with it this is when I started working out, and eating better. I actually starved myself for a little bit, because I was so pissed, and was ready to lose the weight fast. I started doing a training with boxing. My nutrition wasn't has keen as it is now, but I was definitely losing some weight, and was determined. I dropped down to the 255-260 range. Towards the end of 2008, this was when I got the over the sexual hurdle, and was ready to take 2009 on.
I've just got out of college, and living back in the Bay Area. As a graduation gift, I went on a cruise with some family, and that was great. I can say that was around the first time after school, that I had some inclination that I should do something about my weight. Not being able to take off my shirt in that nice weather was frustrating, but still had a great time. Definitely was trying to get with chicks on the boat, but no luck. But I was used to this by this time. But all in all, it was awesome. Feeling real good, because I just got my degree, and looking to take on the world. In the back of my mind, I knew I had to do something about my weight, because I was definitely not satisfied with it. So at this time, I'm living with my mom, and still not caring about what I eat. I was broke coming out, so whatever I could get my hands on that was cheap and good, that was good for me. I would just go to the Burger King and burgers, and other crap like that. To my surprise, when I came home, there was a Panda Express, and while I in college, an I-N-Out Burger opened up very close to home (If you never had I-N Out Burger, you have to try it. It is the best burger hands down. This might be counter productive, but if you follow my advice, you will able to have fast food once in a while and not feel bad about it. But the main thing about what I will tell you in this blog is to be mindful of how much of it you eat.). So I started just eating out all the time, and my mom would have the ingredients to make my favorite breakfast that I pretty much survived on in college, over easy eggs, pork sausages, and hasbrowns. So this went on, but at some point, I knew I had to cut down, so I did, and I started working out at the local gym, and playing some basketball occasionally. So as this time went on, I was still getting rejected by women, and it was just taking a toll on me. But times got to be a little better, because I landed a dream job testing video games, and I loved it. I love vids, and still do today. I as an vidot, this was heaven. But it was definitely alot of sitting. So I was living a pretty sedentary life, but I was loving my job. I was making decent money, but the main thing is that I'm making money playing the one thing I love doing (In college, there was alot of nights of Halo and Madden. It really helps takes your mind off of things, and believe or not, I will tell you how vids can help with weight loss. I know it 's crazy, but I'll explain later.). Still a overweight and lonely, I thought I needed something to boost my confidence. I hated living with my mom, and I also hated not having a car. I decided one of these things would help with my confidence, and help me get some chicks. So I decided instead of moving out, I would get a car. And man, did I get one. I got an Audi, and it was beautiful. This gave me so much confidence. It's crazy what a new car can do for a man's confidence. I was getting looks, and I loving my new ride. I thought this would be the key to end my loneliness, and chicks were going to come. But in reality, I was just trying to cover my insecurities. Hide my fatness. Man, was I wrong. Even though I was very happy at this point, there was one thing I longed. A touch of another woman. So I was still working playing video games, and I knew I had to make more money. I was a college graduate for God's sake. I knew I deserved to get paid better, so I tried applying within the company, but I was getting no where. So I decided to leave the job I loved so much, and search for that big paying job.
So after months of searching, got a job at a company in downtown SF. Man, I was stoked. By this time, it was 2007, and I remember in the summer of 2007, I was doing some type of dieting, I think I was eating a little better, and playing b-ball. I also had a boxing bag, so I would workout on that, letting of frustrations about life and the rejection of countless of women. I started getting in to bodyweight exercises by then. Because I didn't want to go to the gym, but I want to get a good workout. I was always good at doing pushups, and would do alot in my youth. I would do them time from time to make me feel good throughout my life, because I always thought that I could still do pushups, that meant I was not too out of shape. I could always bust out 20 in a row. But I started really focusing on it as a workout, and and one point, I could do 50 in a row. So been working out lately, and landing a great job, I was feeling good at this point, and I thought now, the girls would be rolling in. I was a catch, why wouldn't they want me? I was making 55K a year, nice car. And a few months later, I finally moved out of my mom's house, and moved to the city. So I was really feeling good. But still, I was not getting any play, and it was taking its toll. Around this time, I start to do alot of soul searching, and I suggest you all do that too. I started reflecting on my life, and the rejection I received because of my weight. I thought I was a good person with alot going for myself, but I was very insecure about alot of things, and I had to find out why. So I went through trying to change my personality. I wanted to stop being nice. I started being an asshole, when this was not me at all. But I knew that I had to stop being so damn nice. I knew this is something that turns off women. So I started reading books, and looking for info on the Internet about how to attract women. I was hearing about all of the bullshit about pretty much be a douchebag, and I was eating it up. So this was a period where I was trying to change my personality. I'll have to say, it was hard being an asshole. I'm generally a nice person, and it's not in my nature. So I would say that the first in my journey was to find out who I am. I had alot of insecurities, so being nice was my way of masking it. I know we all hate when a girls says your so nice, and all that bullshit that he's my friend. That shit pissed me the hell off. So you can imagine being a generally nice person, then adding my insecurities, then you just had a bowl of mess. So I knew I had to change something, but I didn't change my personality. I thought I was just boring, and I didn't have alot to offer, so any woman that would give me any attention, I would kiss her feet. But I knew I had alot to offer, and I had to stop pleasing people and have women earn my respect. And this should apply in all aspects of life. So lets just say I tweaked my personality, and had the idea that I didn't care what people think of me. And then I got into the notion that you know, women are just going to reject you for various of reason. So I shouldn't get so caught up in getting reject, and I just needed to put myself out there. If you fall, just get right back up, and go find another. There's one out there for me. This worked wonders for me mentally, and I would say was a key step in my weight loss journey, because I had to learn a thing or too. I decided I was gonna be who I am, but be a stand up man. I'm a nice guy, and that's who I am. But a woman has to earn my niceness. Listen, I never really had a male figure in my life. I knew my dad, and I talked to him alot, and he loves me alot, and I love him too. But I didn't know how to be man, and approach this world. My mom, bless her heart, couldn't teach me that. She was a very devout Christian, and grew up heavily in the church. So you can imagine how much impact it had on me. To be honest, I hated church. I never felt the what the big hoopla was all about, but I went with the motions, but I can say I was definitely a god fearing christian growing up, but was not to christian-like things, which messed me up. But as I grew up, I started to drift away from Christianity, and understood that you don't need to find God through the church. This is a subject I will touch on from time to time in the future, because this did have a profound impact on my life and in my weight loss journey. But anyways, like I was saying, I had to learn alot of things on my own. Then I started to realize that my mother didn't instill me with good eating habits. Not blaming her, but I wish she instilled me with calorie counting, because if I knew that then, I wouldn't be what I am now, trying to lose weight. So with this soul searching period, I changed for the better, and I can say that period really helped in for me, and it did pay dividends. I definitely am a social butterfly. I love going out with friends, and partying. But still didn't know what to do about the women issue. I made major changes mentally, but I was a more confident man, and at this point, I wasn't getting over my nervousness of women, and was better at carrying on a conversation. But still, there was some other insecurities that I had to get over.
Not only was I insecure about me, and who I am, I was definitely insecure sexually. I know this is a touchy subject, and it's even hard for me to talk about, but I'm doing this to help you Big Dawg. Now, there's alot of us when it comes to penis size, they're showers and growers. Look it up, and you can find out more. But lets say I'm a big grower. What this means is that given that my penis is not to impressive on soft, on hard, I'm alot better than average. But I was so insecure about it, all I could see was my soft penis, even though I was doing fine on hard. So you can imagine what toll this took on me mentally, being overweight with a small soft penis. I really believe I couldn't satisfy a woman. But I knew I had to get over this. Because I want to meet a woman who could one day have my kids. I really want kids, and want to have kids with the right woman, so knew this was an important step to get over. So lets go over my sexual history for a second. In high school, I didn't care too much for some reason, but was still mindful. I can count the girls on my hand that I had sex with, but I did hook up with some alot, but never got to the getting off the pants part. And in SB, I didn't do anything, and college, I had a girlfriend once, and we had sex once, and it was like for a few minutes, and she or I didn't cum. It was soon after, we broke up. I'm sure it was I was so terrible in bed, but in my mind, I thought it was definitely my size. So my confidence was shot. But even before that, a year before college, I had some wild sex with some chick to this day, I couldn't tell you who she was. But it was cool, because I just figured that I was the smallest thing she's ever seen, and that was that, but the sex was good for me. So since 2000, I'd had sex with 2 chicks. So that's about 8 freaking years. I was getting frustrated. So I had to do something. So what did I do, hit up the Internet and do some research (on another note, the Internet has changed my life. I was able to look up alot of information to help me in my journey. I'm forever grateful to it). It had to see if there's anyone out there with my same problem. I found alot of info, and it did the obvious thing to do, and measure my penis to see where I stack up. It's crazy what the mind does to you, and your self image, because I couldn't believe what I was reading. After doing measurements, I found out that I was very well endowed when it came game time. Like better the 65% of the world population. So I had to tell my self that I was indeed capable of pleasing a women, and had to get over it. So I decided to just go ahead and dive in. And I hate to say this, but it's only human nature to hear about other people's problems, and feel better about yourself, because I would read about some sizes and say damn. But what you learn is that no matter how you hang, it's all good. All a woman needs is stamina, and a man who knows what they're doing. But anyways, like anything you would like to do, and get better at, you had to start doing it. I was lucky at this time to catch the eyes of this chick. I this time, I dropped down to around 265, and feeling little better about myself. This leads in to my motivation for wanting to drop the weight. I LIKE HOT CHICKS! Don't we all? I don't want to settle for someone just because that's the best I can get. And when I think about it, I can remember for years, I could of had sex with some less than stellar woman, but I was just so damn picky, and didn't want to lower my standards. How does that sound, I'm the one who doesn't want to lower my standards, and I'm asking these hot chicks to do it for me. I was pretty lucky in high school to get some pretty good tail. I was the captain of the football team, and I was dating the really hot head cheerleader. So my standards were high. I had to get real with myself, because if I want to make my way up back to the majors, I'm gonna have to practice with some minor leaguers if you know what I mean. So like I was saying, caught the eye of this chick, and she was down. She was OK, but not something I would be drawn to, but I was like fuck it. I had to dive in, and put some training wheels before I can ride the bike. So even though I was scared as shit, and thought I was be terrible, when I pulled it out for the first time in years, she said my penis was perfect! It was the first thing she said. Do you know how much that did for my confidence? Then we ended having great sex, and I did better than I expected. I think the years of watching porn, and "studying" finally paid off. So after that, I was feeling real good, just got a huge monkey off my back. So I was thinking, I was back in the game. I was looking at women differently. So this was an important process in my journey, getting over my sexual security.
So when 2008 comes around, and I can say this was a defining year in my journey. I landed the job in late 2007, and was feeling good about 2008. This is when I started feeling very insecure about my body. I was committed to do something about it. This is when I went through my soul searching that I just talked about. In the early part of the year, I wasn't worried too much about the rejection. I was a changed man mentally, and I wasn't going to let it get to me anymore, but everyone has their breaking point, and it came from two women. I started working out, and looking at changing my diet. Toward mid year in 2008, I decided one thing I could do is drop soda, and switch to diet. I loved soda, and this something i knew I had to do. It was unnecessary calories, and I told myself I will learn to like diet soda. I never liked it, but I consciously changed it. I also tried to cut down on my eating too, but there was too many foods that I liked. Even though it helped in my nutrition, I think that just kept me stagnant at my weight which was dancing around 265-270. But another thing that gave made me want to do something about it was that damn Facebook and Myspace. I hated looking at my pictures, and still do to this day, because I always looked fat. And I hated that everyone would be able to see my fat ass. And as it got more popular, more and more of my friends wanted to take pictures for their pages, and I would oblige, because I didn't want to be rude, and I definitely didn't want to tell them that I don't want pictures of me up for the whole to see me. So I would see constant updates of how I was looking. In the past, I had the "luxury" of not having to see myself often, since Facebook and Myspace started to get popular during the middle of my college years. But now, I thank them for forcing me to accept reality. I need to get in shape. But in mid 2008, I met this fine woman, and I was really trying to lock it down. She was so hot, and she was really feeling me, and I was feeling the same towards her. But this was before I got over my sexual insecurities, so I didn't approach it in the right way. We dated, for a couple months, but wasn't anything in stone, but I liked for what it is at the time. I was so insecure sexually, I wasn't trippin about having sex with her yet. I was just happy to have this hot chick on my side when we went out. But I was getting to the point were I wanted to be together officially, and I really wanted to have sex with her. She was kinda iffy on the whole thing, and I was definitely putting myself out there, and looking stupid. This was abou the time an event happened that was change my life, and it was a good thing. For years and years, I've always heard about was this event, Reggae on the River, and wanted to go for years. But the stars were aligned for this year. I had a great job, so I could definitely afford it, and I was planning for months with friends to go. But this girl I was talking about came in to my life, and I wanted to do something for her. I decided that I wanted to go do an weekend excursion in Monterey. If you never been there, it is a very beautiful city, and very romantic. I would love to get married there some day. But I definitely wanted to spend it with a special someone. So I was gonna flake on my friends, and do the weekend thing with this girl. I knew I couldn't afford to do the weekend thing, and go to this event, so I made a choice. But in retrospect, everything happens for a reason. Since I knew the event was a event where you wanna try to look your best in the least possible clothes, I started to increase my bodyweight excersises, and was getting trying to look as best as I can for the event. So just before the event, the girl told me she didn't want to go, and was backing out. I was devastated, so me being pissed as hell, I decided to the event. Before I went, I was definitely a novice reggae fan. I appreciated the music, but never really got in to it. But this event, and reggae music has changed my life forever. I would always say do a musical event like this. You go into the middle of nowhere, with thousands of people around, positive energy, and the most amazing musical performances I've ever seen. This event changed my life for many of reasons. This music gave me a consciousness of self respect, and being yourself. And for some reason, when I hear this music, I can't stop moving. I've always loved dancing, and was pretty good at it, but reggae music really brought out of me. I enjoyed the music and it changed my life, and now, a very advt reggae fan. But I can say, besides the cruise, this was my first even where I wish I was in shape and could take off my shirt. There were some fine looking women there, and wish I had the the body some of my friends had. Since I was having such a great time, and planned on coming to this event every year for a long time, I told my self by this time next year, I was gonna be in alot better shape.
So after this event, this were things with this girl got interesting. So after toying with me for a while, and she telling me for a few weeks she really liked me, and me catching deep feelings for her, she dropped a bomb on me, and told me she was dating someone else, and was gonna roll with that guy. She pretty much told me she was not attracted to me. This was profound to me, and I went into deep depressive state at this point. It was finally enough, and I had to deal with it this is when I started working out, and eating better. I actually starved myself for a little bit, because I was so pissed, and was ready to lose the weight fast. I started doing a training with boxing. My nutrition wasn't has keen as it is now, but I was definitely losing some weight, and was determined. I dropped down to the 255-260 range. Towards the end of 2008, this was when I got the over the sexual hurdle, and was ready to take 2009 on.
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