My Weight Loss Regimen Part 2

Nutrition



This is so key to weight loss. Getting healthy portions of protein, fat, and carbs is very essential. I will not try to even front and say I'm an expert on this, but what I do is try to balance out my nutrition with mainly whole foods. I know that eating more veggies, lean meats, and whole grains are alot better for me than processed foods. I wrote alot about maintaining a calorie-deficit. The absolute best way to do this is eat the foods that I mentioned. Because you can eat more of those foods, feel satisfied, and have not as many calories as you would of other foods. Since we were kids, we were always told about the foods that were good for us. I'm sure most of you remember the government chart with what foods to eat. Remember, it was in the shape of a pyramid, and it listed the type of foods to eat for a balanced diet. So even if you're not an expert on what is what (trust me I'm not, but I'm learning more each day) you generally know what's good for you, and what's bad for you. So what I do is find the foods that are good for me, that I've always liked, and just eating alot more of them. To give you an example, when I shop, I get the veggies I've always liked: broccoli, carrots, bell peepers, tomatoes, packaged mixed vegetables, and I will use these veggies for my veggie omelet, salads, or grilled chicken sandwiches. And if you love meat like I do, then you have nothing to fret. I know that in the past, when I had no idea about nutrition, I just thought diets consist of me eating foods I did not want to, and I would have to drastically drop my meat intake. The key I found out is that if you consume more lean meats, then it's all good. I do try to only have 2 meals with lean meats, but some days, I may have 3 meals with lean meats. So when I go to the store, I get just chicken breast, salmon, and turkey. But if you like beef and pork, then you can get that, but make sure that it's lean portions. For me, I've decided to drastically reduce my beef and pork intake, just because that was something I loved in the past, and definitely help in me getting to the weight I was. So still, once in a while, I will eat beef and pork, but I know that chicken, fish, and turkey are great lean meats that I love, so I just stick to that. But I have been thinking of incorporating some pork tenderloin, but for right now, I'm sticking to the things I know. I've stopped drinking soda all together. When I first to give up my soda cravings, I decided to switch to diet soda. It definitely helped in my weight loss. I was buying more diet soda, juices, and green tea. But in my current intake, when I go to the store, I just buy the green tea, and I don't even drink it that much either now. I'm drinking more water, and just recently, I got the idea from Muata, and I'm starting to alternate days where I just drink only water. But I still from time to time, get a diet soda. The point is that I'm limiting my intake of calories from liquids. I know in the past, I probably consumed 500-800 calories a day just from what I drinked. I remember in college, I couldn't have a soda or some juice in my fridge. I would love to get those cheap store sodas like Safeway Select, and stock up on those. Now, I have no desire to add calories from liquid. And if I do, than it's the Arizona green tea. I used to love that drink, even when I wasn't mindful of my intake, I would buy that often. And I know may think juices are better for you. I used to. But there not, and some is just as bad as soda. I enjoy juices in moderation, but that's how focused I am right now. I don't want any intake from liquids, so for right now, juices is taking a back seat. When I get to my goal weight, then I will probably add juices back, because some are good for you, and it would be a good way to get maintain the weight.



So that's basically it. That's my "diet". I'm loving what I'm eating right now, so I really can see myself eating like this for the rest of my life. As long as I'm mindful of my nutrition, the weight will come off. And let me emphasize again that I hate calling my weight loss a diet. Because it really doesn't feel like I'm on one. I'm just making better choices in my food intake, and making sure I have a calorie deficit every day. It's really that simple.

Excersise

Now, this one was a huge hurdle for me. By nature, I'm a pretty lazy person, and I'm still am. I still sit around the house, watching TV, on the computer, and/or play vids for hours a day along with a toke. But there is a difference from what I am today than what I was a few years ago. But years ago, my knowledge of the science of weight loss was non-exsistent. But now, I do some type of cardio at least once a day, 5-6 days a week. And the difference now is that I love doing it. Being a Big Dawg, and a much larger one a few years ago, I had this notion of weight loss, and it takes a person who runs miles a day on the road, and/or on the treadmill, and have to be in the gym everyday, but that is not the case.

In my college days, when I was trying to get in shape, I would run around the track, go to the gym, and play some basketball. But at this time, my nuturtion was terrible, so even though I was doing some things, all of that was in vain. Let me say this again, IF YOU'RE NOT EATING RIGHT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT EXCERSISE! So what I mean is if you're not maintaining a calorie-deficit and have a good nutrition, you will not see any results from excersising. You may think I'm bullshitting, but let me try to explain some of the science behind it. So lets say you run mile a day, and you weigh about 280. You burn about 175 calories. Now, lets say the calories you burn for living is about 3000, and you just ran a mile, so you're burning 3,175 calories a day. But since you've been running, you think that you can eat whatever. Lets say you eat 4 meals, about 1000 calories per meal. You consumed 4,000 calories a day! So you will actually be gaining weight, even with your committment to running. Now, this is the anomoly that I believe alot of us run into, because even though you might be working out, you're not seeing any results like you think, because you think going to the gym, and running a mile a day is helping lose weight, but that's far from the truth. There is tons of evidence on this, and you can do some research on your own to check this out. So basically, you're doing the workouts for nothing, and your regain will not be as fast, but you still will be gaining weight becuase your caloric intake is not in check. You can run 2 miles, then have 2 slices of pizza, and wipe that out completely. Check this video out to see what I mean.

Now, with that said, you might be saying, what's the point of excersising if it doesn't burn too many calories from doing it? Well, there is a tons of reasons to excersise. My number one reason for excersise is for my mind. I feel so much better mentally after a workout. I feel alot better about myself, and it helps in my confidence. Also, I still want maintain my athletic menatality. I've always felt that I'm an athlete, and even in my bigger days, I would still be able to play ball, and run around. I feel alot more faster and stronger now with the weight I'm losing. Now the #2 reason that I excersise, is because it aids in my calorie deficit. Not only am I'm burning the calories from just living, and working out, I'm still maintaining my calorie deficit. And because I burning an extra 200-400 calories from working out, my deficit has more of a difference than it would if I didn't, and I will lose weight a little faster. Plus, I want to maintain my lean muscle mass, so doing bodyweight excersises is a great way to maintain my lean muscle mass, so when I lose the body fat, I will see more muscle than fat. I'm not an expert on this at all, but I think that doing resistance training at a very high level is something I'm gonna put off until I'm at my ideal body fat percentage, and I would suggest you do the same. Just do something that will keep you toned, and if you want to get bigger, just put if off.

So like I said in the beginning of this segement, I do some type of excersise at least once a day, 5-6 days a week. And in the past, I would run around the track, and go to the gym. Let me empasize, you don't have to do some hardcore workout to get a good workout. And alot of the times, it will hamper your weight loss. I think back to my college days, and I would do a workout that I just hated. I kinda liked the gym, but I didn't like everybody that was in there. I wanted to be able to concentrate on my workout, and some times were peak times, so I would put it off. So after running a mile, with my legs feeling like crap, I would hate it, and cycle back to my old habits, because I hated doing it so much. And I'm sure alot of you have done the same. And with me having flat feet, running around the track was a painful experience. But now, I have done a 180 in my knowledge, and I know that anything that you do can be an excellent way to get a workout. Take me for an example. I mentioned in my journey series, that I went to a reggae festival, and it really changed my life. I remember dancing so much to the music. When I got home, and was blasting reggae, I would get up and dance, remembering my reggae expereience. Then the lightbulb went off in my head. I loved to dance. Yeah, that might sound gay, but I just love to dance. Music really gets me moving. So I said to myself, I could use this as cardio. So I incorporated this with my workout. So I dance for 30 mintues a day, and get a great workout, and it's something I love to do, and look forward to doing it. I would suggest you find something that you love to do, and you can do it everyday. Basketball, riding bikes, walking around, etc. are great workouts. But the main thing is to find something you love to do, and it gets your heart rate up. Why is this important? With me, I do three different types of cardio that I like to do; dancing, sprinting, and punching the heavy bag. I incoporated these three things in my weekly cardio, along with a bodyweight workout everyday, with doing my more strenuous bodyweight workout every other day. Now, there is some days, I really don't feel like going outside, and dancing is the most fun to me out of the three. So I know if I don't feel like doing the other, I can always go back to dancing to get my cardio in. But like I said, I like to hit the heavy bag and sprint. This is great way to workout, and build great lean muscle mass compared to jogging. The evidence for this is just look at Olympic marathon runners compared to sprinters. The marathoners are alot leaner, compared to the sprinters have more muscle mass. Not sure about the science behind this, but I believe it's about burning your muscle protein. When you're jogging for a set period of time, at some point, your body stops burning energy, and burns muscle protein. Please, do more research on your own to understand this, but that is my novice understanding of it. So it really depends on what type of body type you want. I would rather look like Tyson Gay than one of those African long distance runners. So again, do what you you like. Don't think you have to do something crazy to get a workout in to lose weight. The main thing is that you do something that gets your heart rate up, and you will be fine.

The sum up

So in conclusion, the 4 main things that I focus on in my weight loss regimen is my mind, my caloric intake: maintaining a calorie deficit, my nutrtion: the type of foods I eat, and excersing. If you master these four things, you will lose weight. It's really that simple.

My Weight Loss Regimen - Part 1

Ok, now that you're done with my manifesto LOL, you're probably wondering what is my regimen for my weight loss. Well, let me tell you Big Dawg, it is vey simple, but it is not easy. But if you do your research, you will find out that it is alot easier then what you hear or read out there. The Weight Loss industry is a billion dollar industry, and confusion is what makes them profitable. If people would understand how simple it is to lose weight, than we might be a much fitter nation. But unfortunately, do to the demands of this society; work, constantly on the move, the quicker the better, the temptation of bad foods, and other factors has led to a nation of mostly overweight people. Its funny that I look in the past, and my craving for calorie rich, filling foods, and how misguided I was, and I wish someone ingrained this into my head. But it is what it is, and it's time to stop living in the past, and look towards a brighter future. First of all, I'm not nutritionist, or weight loss guru. I don't possess some zen like ability to maintain my calorie deficit, because I'm just a man with my faults. I'm actually unemployed, smoke weed, sit a watch TV most of the day if I'm not running errands, but I do find the time in the day to get a good workout in. I'm just an average man that was tired of being trapped in this body. I know what your thinking Big Dawg, that these fit people with this fine bodies probably put themselves through rigorous workouts, and eat just veggie foods to look that good, and you don't have the willpower to do that. Let me tell you, that's far from the truth. I still in the midst of my journey, but I have a mindset now that is tunnel vision, and I will not allow myself to let off. And I'm not even doing anything to crazy, or fighting cravings, or starving myself. So how do I do this? Well, you know that from reading my journey post, that it is a mental challenge more than anything. You have to have a made of up mind, and I'll touch on the more. But let me say it again, THIS IS NOT HARD TO DO AT ALL. So here are some aspects of my regimen that I'm currently doing.

The Mind

Before you even think of trying to lose weight, you have to prepare yourself mentally. Now, I don't mean that you have to mentally prepare for some hardcore diet. What I mean is that you have to prepare your mind to adapt to changing your life, and having a do whatever it takes attitude to obtain your goal. For an example, I eat about anywhere on average 4 meals a day, ranging from 250-500 calories. I don't allow myself to go beyond that, and if I do, then I don't beat myself over this. You may have some insecurities that I mentioned, and I know that this a huge hurdle in it self. You have to try your best to do some soul searching. But once you have a made up mind, then the rest of this stuff I'm going to mention will come easy. I'm in a mindset to where my cravings for calorie-rich foods have dropped drastically, and I have cravings for healthier and smaller portions. What these people are doing with that bypass surgery with shrinking their stomachs and paying big bucks to do, I'm doing it free, with just the power of my mind. My stomach feels smaller, and I'm satisfied with my smaller portions. All of this comes with he power of the mind.

Calorie-Deficit

If I had to rank the importance of weight loss, the mind would be 1.a and maintaining a calorie-deficit would be 1.b. This again the most import thing besides a made up mind that you can do. MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. And just in case you missed that, let me say it again. MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. All the fad diets, and weight loss programs (i.e. atkins, south beach, weight watchers, nutrisystem) all like to sound like their revolutionary, but that's far from the truth. Each one of these fad diets and programs have one thing in common. The individual must maintain a calorie-deficit, they just hide behind something they claim it's revolutionary. They have money to make, so they have to stand out from the other fad diets. And they're banking on people's lack of knowledge, and our culture quick and easy. Just to touch on this a little, this journey will not be quick. It will take months, and even years to get body you want. But if you have a made up mind, you will start to eat better not just because you're on diet, but you more in tune to what you put in your body. To understand a calorie-deficit, it's good to know some biology of weight loss. I would suggest going to Lyle McDonald's blog and read on the science of this, but I will try my best to sum it up.

Depending on your life style (sedentary, moderately active, very active) you body is always burning calories. A man burns more calories than a woman, and this can range from 2500 to 2700 for a sedentary man any a given day. Lets take me for an example, with my current lifestyle, with a workout of 30-60 minutes, I burn close to 3000 calories a day. So with that in mind you can estimate what type of calorie deficit that you will have on a given day. So in weight loss, YOU MUST MAINTAIN A CALORIE DEFICIT. So with that in mind, I know that for me to obtain a calorie deficit, I must consume lower than 3000 calories. So for me to maintain this, I choose to eat foods that are not as calorie dense as I used to, and I do this for 4 meals a day. So lets do some simple math. I know I burn close to 3000 calories a day. Let say my four meals a in a week, I total a caloric intake of 400 calories. So that's 1600 calories that I have consumed for the day. So I have a deficit of 1400 calories (just subtracting the total calories burned in a day with the amount consumed). So with with that in mind, I know that there is 3500 calories in a pound. With my calorie deficit, my body will respond to my deficit by burning fat stored in the body. So I know in a week, if I keep my my current intake for the whole week (which I don't. My calories burned from day to day vary, as well as my intake. No one is perfect, and I will not ask you to be. Using this calculation is just for the sake of showing you a simple example) I would have a calorie deficit total of 9800 calories. You divide that by 3500, now you have lost 2.8 pounds that week! You see how simple of a notion that is? Just by maintaining a calorie deficit, you're always burning fat. Depending how much you want to lose in a week depends on your caloric intake. Sounds easy right? Well, it's simple, but not easy.

What this requires me to do is to watch what I eat throughout the day. I try to stay away from calorie-rich foods (i.e. fast food meals, pizza, processed foods) that will cause me to eat a high calorie meal. For an example, I know alot of people are going through hard times, and I know that when you're on a budget, it's may be hard to buy foods that are healthier, nutritious, and are less calorie dense. Lets take a look at McDonalds dollar meal. Like I said in my journey posts, a staple meal for me when I was broke was a double cheese burger and a McChicken, and a lot of times, one more of either or. Looking at the McDonald's nutrition facts online, I found that a double cheese burger is 440 calories and a McChicken is 380. Lets say I go with 2 double cheese burgers and a McChicken. That's a total of 1260 calories! And you've only paid 3 bucks. Now lets look at a meal that I love now. I love chicken breast, especially when it's grilled. Who doesn't? I like to make chicken teriyaki. I would get teriyaki marinade, and let it marinate for a certain time. I will crank up the grill and grill the chicken, pouring some teriyaki sauce flavor. I will boil some brown rice, and cut up the cooked chicken, and put it on top of the rice. Now, let's estimate that an average chicken breast can have anywhere between 180-200 calories. I'll go with the high side, and say the breast I ate is 200. The one serving of brown rice is about 250. So I've just had a great tasting meal, that is very satisfying and it's was only 450 calories! You see what I mean? To me, the key is to find great tasting food that I like that are not as calorie dense as some foods. It's really as simple as replacing these calorie-rich meals with healthier ones. And portion size is key too with some foods. If you could be satisfied with one cheese burger, then you would only be consuming 440 calories. But I know Big Dawg, that is not the case for you. If you're like me, I would need at least two to feel satisfied. And with those two, you have consumed about double of what you would of if you would just have the chicken teriyaki with brown rice. So it's really about altering your brain to craze these types of good, nutritious, low calorie meals. Once I figured this out, it was easy to trade in my pizza, pasta, potato chips, fast food meals and find healthier options that YOU LIKE! You don't have to eat foods that you don't like for the sake of your deficit.

So again, MAINTAINING A CALORIE DEFICIT IS KEY TO YOUR WEIGHT LOSS! Once you have this ingrained in your mind, then weight loss will come easy. Do you wanna know how we got fat? It's easy. The reason is that we live in a sedentary society, and with alot of us doing work that requires us to sit alot is making an organism like a human being more sedentary than ever in human history. And living in a free market, the foods that are calorie dense are everywhere for the human on the go, and we're constantly bombarded by commericals showing us these delicious foods. I understand, it's easier to just pull up to the drive through, get a value meal, a go home, and watch TV. Now, lets say you eat a good sized breakfast that was about 1000 calories, you eat a whole salami sandwhich at lunch with chips and a soda which could be about a 1500 calorie meal, you get some chips, candy, and another soda some time before dinner which cold be 700 calories, then you go get a Quater Pounder value meal at MCD super sized, that can be a 1700 calorie meal, and then you snack something you like which could be about 400 calories. And lets say with your sedentary lifestyle, you are only burning 2700 calories on that day. So lets do the math. You add up the figures I mentioned, that totals 4900 calories. And you're only burning 2700, so you you consuming more calories than you body can burn, and so the extra calories are stored as fat. If you maintain that rate for a week, at 2200 extra calories a day, you are have an access of of 15,400 calories! Since we know that there is 3500 calories in a pound, if you divide that, you have gained 4.4 pounds that week! So you have to get this out of your mind, and learn to shop for good foods, or if you go to the fast food joint, find options less calorie-dense, or just learn to only eat half of the burger and a small fries, and a diet coke. Controlling portions is a great start to weight loss, and if you're not mentally ready to give up these foods, learn to eat on half. If you cut that intake that I mentioned by half, you have an intake of 2450 and you just obtained a calorie deficit. But I will strongly suggest that if you learn to cook a few things that good for you. In the long run, buying your foods will save you money, because you're not going out to eat that much. You may think it's cheap, but if you're eating out twice a day, spending 2o dollars a day, you spent 140 bucks on food. You could use that money to be alot of grocery that can last your for up to 3-4 weeks. And if you decide to get package food, study that nutrition label. Understand the serving size, and know what exactly how many calories your intaking. You probably noticed that I haven't said anything about a diet. I like to call it a calorie deficit, because to me, it really feels that I'm not on a diet, it's just that I've changed my lifestyle. There are times I crave bad foods, but I know if I do, then I'm mindful of it, estimate the caloric intake, and think about what I ate before, and what I will eat few hours after. Yes, my deficit would be shorter if I choose a better option, but still, the main thing is that I maintained a deficit for that day. So lets say that I heat a veggie omelet in the morning with some whole wheat English muffin, toasted with butter substitute and strawberry preserves and a fruit. That is a caloric intake of 350. Now lets say some co workers wanted to go out to lunch at the local burger spot, with limited options of good foods. I know alot of us go through this dilemma often. I know that it can be kinda embarrassing to say your on a diet, and you don't want to offend anyone by not eating anything, and say fuck it, and splurge. Let's say that I had an intake of 1300 calories. Instead of the regular soda, I got diet one, which cut my intake by 300 calories. So so far, I have intake of 1650. Oh shit, did I just slip up? Maybe, to a degree, if you decide to eat a dinner that is high in calories. But you can still recover from this meal, if you decide to eat salad for dinner, and maybe even some healthy snacks like fruits for an example, which only totals no more than 500 calories. So I had a daily intake of 2150. Yes, I didn't have a high deficit today, but the main thing is still having a calorie-deficit. So I'm still burning fat!

So Big Dawg, get it in your mind to maintain a calorie deficit. A good nutrition and a calorie-deficit is key to your weight. Way more than resistance training or cardio, even though those are things you should do to increase your daily activity, that isn't as important as this. You can lose weight without exercising. And too much exercise can somewhat bad for you, and I'll touch on that a little later in this series. Look at my cousin for an example. In my journey post, I mentioned how my cousin had a massive heart attack and was in a coma for a few weeks. The only thing they gave him was this medical protein that they fed him through a tube. In his very sedentary state, he was able to lose 60 pounds in 6 weeks with no exercising. Why is this? Because remember I mentioned that we are always burning calories to live. Breathing, thinking, moving, all requires calories. So even when he was in his coma, he was still burning calories for maintaining life. I would never suggest dropping weight like that. This was done for medical reason, and it required him to drop weight fast for his health. But the point is that you can lose weight without it, but at the same time, cardio and resistance is important in your journey. The Mind and Calorie Deficit deserves it's own post, because this is the to keys to your success. It has for me, and I guarantee if you master these two, you will lose weight.

My Journey Part 3

2009-present The "Journey" Begins...

2009 rolls around, and it starts out with a bang with spending a great time at a winter ski resort, with some friends. I had a feeling that 2009 would be weird, but with my somewhat bleak outlook at life, I figured the worst would always outweigh the better. I remember at the resort, met this girl who was gorgeous, and she was staying in the same cabin with me and all the boys. We all got drunk, it was an awesome time. Then of course, the call of the hot tub came, and I was hella down. I would never forget this, and the would be a catalyst of what would be the beginning of me really focusing on my weight. We're all in the hot tub and let me tell you, this girl's body was perfect, and all of us guys were definitely checking her out. For some reason, the focus came about me, and my man boobs when couple of my boys decided to put some hot tub foam on to my pecs, and let me tell you how embarrassed I was. And I knew then that any chance I had, if I ever did were over. When I came home, I was determined, and so I started to do something about it. So I really started to focus on a regimen for weight loss. I started with buying better foods. Still though, there were foods that I loved, that I didn't realize were bad for me, but after doing research on the Net, then I started to cut out some of these foods. I was also start being alot more mindful of what I eat. Even if was bad, I called myself out on it, and saying this isn't the best thing I've could of ate. I wouldn't punish myself, I would just say that the next meal I ate would be better. I started to read up on all things weight loss. Calories, carbs, proteins, fat, exercises, success stories for motivation, supplements, etc. But the first thing I did was to decrease my intake of my food, and I did this was alot of success. But a few things happened to me that I would like to discuss that led to the focus and determination that I have today.

2009 was the year Obama was sworn in, and despite what your party affiliation, you couldn't help but be proud of our country, but also the message that it sent. That in our country, despite the many pitfalls that you can fall into, if you really believe it, see it, and put your mind to it, can happen, and that's what the Obama presidency represented to me. So I really put this to heart, and was getting more focused on my diet and exercise. But also, 2009 is the year of the economic meltdown, and the company I was at really felt it. Sales were down, and the CEO felt changes needed to be made. So big boss, and my direct boss who really believed in me, and loved my work ethic and was promoted a few times under them, were fired. They thought they needed to bring in some new blood. So hired was a cut-throat Sales guy from a big time tech firm, and he came in with an agenda. He didn't understand my role, and I was too much inexperienced in what he was trying to do. But it didn't happen so fast, it was a couple months that I was under him before I was let go. But those two months sucked, and for the first time since I've been at the company, I really hated it. Our company was great, and it was a very great professional atmosphere and everyone loved the product. But like I said, he had an agenda, and he determined to weed out anyone that didn't fit his mold. He started by really micro-managing us, and it really became belittling. Every thing you can think of was being looked at, and with him not understanding my role, it led to alot of embarrassing moments, and worked just plain sucked. And like alot of us know, when work sucks, it takes your toll on you mentally. Even though I was doing ok with my nutrition and exercising, I was becoming very depressed, because even though I had gotten over alot of insecurities, and was feeling a little better about myself, I was still lonely and work was getting to me. I was deciding what direction I wanted to go career wise, and I was always intrigued by law school. I was a Political Science major, so law school was up my alley. I thought being a lawyer would be something I'm good at, and I wanted to have a career where you can really make a difference in people's live, and not just working for a damn quota. So I told myself when I would get let go, I would focus on studying for the LSAT. So as expected, I was let go, but I was OK with it. I was tired of working there, and I would of left alot earlier, but I definitely wanted to get the severance package, so that was the only thing keeping my motivated to come to work every day. The package was great, and getting let go was a good thing, because a college friend was getting married in Cancun, and I was working out and eating alot better by this time, because I really wanted to be in better shape for Cancun, and next year's reggae festival. So few weeks after getting let go, I was off to Cancun, and at this time, I was around 255. I was happy I was losing weight, but I knew that I had alot more to go. Even though I was a little more confident, and dropping some of my securities, I said fuck it, and took my shirt off on the beach. Had to go into the water, and it felt really good. I knew I definitely didn't have a beach body yet, but I was happier about myself. So a few weeks later, I was at the reggae festival, and I was able to get to 250 around then, and felt a little more confident. I hooked up with a girl there, and it felt great. And the whole vibe there is definitely rejuvenating, and I would recommend anyone to do something like that. So I get back, and I'm still really focused about everything, but something else would happen that would sharpen my focus. I had plenty of time, since I wasn't working, so I had no excuses to not being able to get in a workout or eat at home.

A few weeks later, my cousin had a massive heart attack was in the hospital for a month and a half. Dude was like my brother. We grew up together, and it really made and impact on me. At this time, I was definitely eating alot better. I was buying better foods, exercising more days out of the week, but still not satisfied with were I'm at. But the event with my cousin really impacted me, because he was 33, and was 6'3" 350. The only thing I could remember is my cousin and I eating some good food together at times. But what I remember the most was even though we would be eating these calorie rich foods, his portion size was so big, even I was like damn. But like me, he didn't pay two cents worth of attention to his calorie intake, and I believe that was the reason for his heart problems. His poor nutrition. They put him in a medically induced coma to help with his heart issues, and to drop his weight. Even though he wasn't responsive, I would go and visit him to get updates. I was studying for the LSATs at this time, and with this major event happening in my life, my studies took a back seat, even though I was scheduled to take them in a few weeks. What intrigued me was how they were feeding him during this time. They gave him through a tube, this medical protein (I think) and I remember asking them what it was. They told me the info, and they told me they had him on a 1000-1200 calorie intake a day on the machine, and my cousin was dropping weight fast. I started to think about this, and this was around the time, and really started to imply this too my diet. I was reading alot of info on calorie intake, and understanding how your calorie intake and your workout regimen was very key to weight loss. I started buy supplements like Acai Berry, and I even did a cardinal sin to many of the weight loss gurus I follow, and bought Hydroxycut. I was definitely eating alot better, and I was dropping weight, and I believe I was around 245. But this focus really came from the fear of one day, going through what my cousin was. I didn't want to deal with the problems that come with not being able to control my caloric intake in a day. This was a very depressing time for me with alot of pressure coming from everywhere, but I was still maintaining my diet. At this time, I broke my arm, so this hampered me from doing my bodyweight exercises. This is when my weight loss got stagnant, and this added to my depression. I even got back up to 250, and I was really not feeling too good about myself. But this was around the time I was definitely feeling a little more confident sexually, since I was having sex with some chick from time to time. She wasn't too hot, but like I was saying in Part 2, you have to practice with some minor leaguers for the pros. I can also say that my sexual confidence went hand and hand with my weight loss, and is one of the reason I believe getting over that insecurity was really key to my weight loss. You can say that this event became my second level of focus.

There was the woman I worked with at my old company that I can say that she was a great friend to me. Even outside the workplace, we became very close, and even though she was sexy as hell, and I really just at the time, wanted her as a friend, because she was a wonderful woman, and with my history of rejection, sure that she wouldn't even consider as a mate, so that mindset just kinda set in, and I was fine with it. I really enjoyed her company, and didn't want awkwardness in our relationship. But when I left the company, I did miss her. I saw her everyday, and I looked forward to it. But it wasn't until I was in Cancun that I realized that I really do like her. Weddings can really get you mooshy about love, and all I could think about was her. So I told myself that when I get back, I was gonna go for it. I had the fantasy in my mind that she wanted me to come on to her, and we would hook up. And she was definitely relationship material. So a few weeks when I got back, and some liquid courage, we were out drinking at a spot, and I laid it on her. It went really bad, and she of course, didn't except my invitation, and I was devastated. I really went into a depressive state. Not will I be intimate with her, our friendship would be hampered. But with that came another level of focus, and I wouldn't say it was out of revenge. That's too strong of a word. I'll say this would be more of proving all these bitches that dissed me wrong. I know alot of you feel me on this, because rejection sucks, and all men have to deal with it. But we deal with it more often than others. And I knew that my appearance was the only reason she wasn't feeling me like that. We connected on so many levels, but the main thing was that she was not attracted to me. She didn't have to say it. I knew. So that was a catalyst for my next level of focused. Because I didn't want to be rejected anymore because of my appearance. I liked hot chicks, and chicks like her could definitely pull better looking men than me. So I was determined to make sure that I didn't want to be rejected because of that reason anymore. Say you don't like my personality, my style, or something along that lines. But in the future, I wasn't going to be rejected because of my appearance. I was really focused now, buying better foods, eating for purpose, not for pleasure, and really getting in a routine of cardio that I really enjoyed. And now the pounds were shedding. Around this time, I dropped down to 240, and then, I was down to 235. After healing from my injury, I was really hitting the bodyweight workouts. I know I was really focused because I was constantly reading on weight loss theories, and supplements that assist in weight loss, checking out success stories. And as soon as I felt my arm was healed, I was hitting the bodyweights workouts right away. Even though my wrist was sore, and it did hamper my ability to do pushups, I found out that if I did fist pushups, my wrist didn't hurt, so started doing those, and was getting a great workout, and felt great that I could push through that. People were noticing my weight loss. And for someone who was working as hard as I am on my diet and exercises, this was awesome, and it was like a drug. I wanted more. And the best test is the mom test. Your mom knows you inside out. And throughout my life, my mom would always give me little comments on how I was looking. There was a few times that when I came home from college, that she commented that I was getting bigger. But recently, my mom has been from complimentary on my weight loss, and she said that it looked like I have dropped about 60 pounds since I've been home from college. But not just her, but alot of my friends were saying it, and I was loving it. I wanted it more, and I was determined more than ever. At this time, too even my belief, I was getting very confident sexually. I was feeling more predatory than I ever felt before, and confidence in the bed works wonders for you mentally. I had three women in rotation, and they were coming back for more. Now, since my girlfriend in high school, I never had a repeat customer if you know what I mean. But just getting over the sexual insecurity earlier made it easier for me mentally, and knew that it wasn't no big deal, just do it. I was loving it, and I was wanting more. So my determination to get a better body was keen. I was getting good at my sexual craft, and I knew that if I keep it up, by the time I get the body I want, I would be very experienced. Like I said, I was down to 235, and was really working consistently, and my diet was really good. Learning about the chemistry of our bodies really enlightened me to the biology of weight loss, and what basic principles that you need to lose weight. But even with that, I still had another level of focus, which led me to starting this blog.

About 10 days ago, I was feeling really good and confident. I had a steady rotation of women, and I was having sex more than any time in my life. I was pretty amazed by my sex skills, and my stamina was really good. A few times a week, I would often look for weight loss articles, and tips to help me along. I knew what I was doing was good, but again, I wasn't all that confident in my knowledge of my weight loss. And even though I was losing weight, and I was definitely seeing changes in my body, and getting compliments from friends, I guess you can say that I was definitely going at it alone, and was learning on a fly, and using my research skills to filter out the bullshit, and see what are the true dynamics of weight loss. From time to time, I would like to look at success stories, and see what they did to get where they are. I would suggest doing that, because it really helps to see people doing it, and know that it can be done. But I came across one, and the guy named was Muata. Reading his success story, I really loved what he was saying, and it mentioned he had a blog. I clicked on it, and there it was, Mr. Low Body Fat. You talk about a reading binge, I was amazed at the amount of info that was on this site, and reading Muata story was very touching, and his motivation for starting the blog really intrigued me. He stated that he was once a Big Dawg, and talked about everything I could relate to about being obese. But it was the way he tells you, it really can't help but motivate you. He talked about his experience, what he did to lose the weight, and how he maintains it, and what simple steps you need to do to lose weight. Like I said, he was obese to, and it's great to get info from someone who has done it, and still is. Again, I will say, GO TO MR. LOW BODY FAT! You will find tons of articles, and Muata is great about responding to comments, and that is very encouraging. I think I went through all the articles on his site in 3 days, and now, I'm more focused than ever. Almost zen-like. He reaffirmed alot of my knowledge, and I was more confident in my current nutrition and workout. It's a site for men, so he writes in our type of language. And reading everything on there, I became inspired. And the one articles series that I love was the Big Dawg series, which gave me the idea to start this. In this series, he talks to you in real talk, and doesn't beat around the bushes. But not only that, but just the plethora of info that he simplifies for us is great. But what was awesome is the info on what to expect on your weight loss journey. Even though, I was losing scale weight, and getting some definition in my body, the bain of my existence, my belly fat was still there. It almost seemed that everywhere else on my body was looking better expect for my abdomen, and that is kinda of frustrating, and I'm sure is one reason why some many people give up, because they don't see the results that they're expecting in a certain time. But he broke it down that this is expected, and reading about the biology of the body, and fat storage, I now had an understanding that for men, the belly fat is where most fat is stored in most cases, compared to women who carry it in they hips and thighs. And in most cases, this is normal in weight loss, and the belly fat will be on of the last things to go. Everything will seemed to be getting toned up, and your pants feel a lot more looser, but you don't see you belly fat swelling up like the rest of your body. This did wonders for me mentally, so now when I look in the mirror, I know that keeping up with me current regimen, with some little tweaks from the info from Muata, that in due time, I will lose the belly fat. So like I said, since finding his site, I've been more focused on my weight loss journey than ever. Since then, I've dropped 5 pounds and now weighing 230. I haven't been this weight since I was 20.

So in conclusion, I'm still on my journey. I'm currently 230, and losing weight consistently, thanks to my nutrition, caloric intake, and daily activities. I want to share with you my journey, so maybe you can be inspired to finally start taking control of your life. Hey, if your happy with yourself, then more power to you. But I can't imagine any person overweight in our society that enjoys being that, unless your an lineman for football. So stop lying to yourself, and make a change. I did, and I'm nothing special. My life has have the ups and downs, and I wouldn't change it for nothing. I'm a true believer in everything happens for a reason. I've been overweight and obese for my entire life, and I'm tired of being trapped in my current body. Even in the midst of my journey, I'm definitely a more confident man, and can't remember anytime in my life that I'm looking towards the future. I hope my story, and my site can help you on your journey, because trust me Big Dawg, the sacrifice you make now will pay dividends for you in the future. Take it from me, I was obese, insecure, and lonely. Now, I have never been happier in my life, even though I'm far from my goal body which is 205 (I was able to calculate the amont of lean muscle mass I have, and getting t 205 with get me to about 15-17% body fat. My mind has done a 180, and I know longer crave calorie rich foods. But if i do, I don't let it get me off track, and keep mind of it, and make sure that the next meal I eat will be a much healthier, low calorie meal. Just to give you an idea of where I am now, reading my story, I've could of easily just felt sorry for myself, accepted failure, and continue my current path of sadness and lonliness, just accept what it is. But there is a saying, "men do what the want, boys do what they can". What are you a boy, or a man? A few nights ago, I was having sex with this girl. I made her cum twice and pass out. Since I was not tired, I proceeded to toke a bowl, and play Call of Duty for an hour before I went to sleep. I sat there, and couldn't help but think, and said to myself, this is what life should be like. A few years ago, I couldn't have ever dreamed of that. More than a physical journey, weight loss is a mental journey, and you have to have a made up mind to say fuck it, and do it. I will try to show you my methods, and again, I'm no expert at all, and I will not try to act like I do. I'm just gonna keep it real, and hopefully, that helps you to start your journey. I believe this blog is a good way to keep me motivated, and hopefully help someone else.

My Journey Part 2

2005-2008 Post-college years

I've just got out of college, and living back in the Bay Area. As a graduation gift, I went on a cruise with some family, and that was great. I can say that was around the first time after school, that I had some inclination that I should do something about my weight. Not being able to take off my shirt in that nice weather was frustrating, but still had a great time. Definitely was trying to get with chicks on the boat, but no luck. But I was used to this by this time. But all in all, it was awesome. Feeling real good, because I just got my degree, and looking to take on the world. In the back of my mind, I knew I had to do something about my weight, because I was definitely not satisfied with it. So at this time, I'm living with my mom, and still not caring about what I eat. I was broke coming out, so whatever I could get my hands on that was cheap and good, that was good for me. I would just go to the Burger King and burgers, and other crap like that. To my surprise, when I came home, there was a Panda Express, and while I in college, an I-N-Out Burger opened up very close to home (If you never had I-N Out Burger, you have to try it. It is the best burger hands down. This might be counter productive, but if you follow my advice, you will able to have fast food once in a while and not feel bad about it. But the main thing about what I will tell you in this blog is to be mindful of how much of it you eat.). So I started just eating out all the time, and my mom would have the ingredients to make my favorite breakfast that I pretty much survived on in college, over easy eggs, pork sausages, and hasbrowns. So this went on, but at some point, I knew I had to cut down, so I did, and I started working out at the local gym, and playing some basketball occasionally. So as this time went on, I was still getting rejected by women, and it was just taking a toll on me. But times got to be a little better, because I landed a dream job testing video games, and I loved it. I love vids, and still do today. I as an vidot, this was heaven. But it was definitely alot of sitting. So I was living a pretty sedentary life, but I was loving my job. I was making decent money, but the main thing is that I'm making money playing the one thing I love doing (In college, there was alot of nights of Halo and Madden. It really helps takes your mind off of things, and believe or not, I will tell you how vids can help with weight loss. I know it 's crazy, but I'll explain later.). Still a overweight and lonely, I thought I needed something to boost my confidence. I hated living with my mom, and I also hated not having a car. I decided one of these things would help with my confidence, and help me get some chicks. So I decided instead of moving out, I would get a car. And man, did I get one. I got an Audi, and it was beautiful. This gave me so much confidence. It's crazy what a new car can do for a man's confidence. I was getting looks, and I loving my new ride. I thought this would be the key to end my loneliness, and chicks were going to come. But in reality, I was just trying to cover my insecurities. Hide my fatness. Man, was I wrong. Even though I was very happy at this point, there was one thing I longed. A touch of another woman. So I was still working playing video games, and I knew I had to make more money. I was a college graduate for God's sake. I knew I deserved to get paid better, so I tried applying within the company, but I was getting no where. So I decided to leave the job I loved so much, and search for that big paying job.

So after months of searching, got a job at a company in downtown SF. Man, I was stoked. By this time, it was 2007, and I remember in the summer of 2007, I was doing some type of dieting, I think I was eating a little better, and playing b-ball. I also had a boxing bag, so I would workout on that, letting of frustrations about life and the rejection of countless of women. I started getting in to bodyweight exercises by then. Because I didn't want to go to the gym, but I want to get a good workout. I was always good at doing pushups, and would do alot in my youth. I would do them time from time to make me feel good throughout my life, because I always thought that I could still do pushups, that meant I was not too out of shape. I could always bust out 20 in a row. But I started really focusing on it as a workout, and and one point, I could do 50 in a row. So been working out lately, and landing a great job, I was feeling good at this point, and I thought now, the girls would be rolling in. I was a catch, why wouldn't they want me? I was making 55K a year, nice car. And a few months later, I finally moved out of my mom's house, and moved to the city. So I was really feeling good. But still, I was not getting any play, and it was taking its toll. Around this time, I start to do alot of soul searching, and I suggest you all do that too. I started reflecting on my life, and the rejection I received because of my weight. I thought I was a good person with alot going for myself, but I was very insecure about alot of things, and I had to find out why. So I went through trying to change my personality. I wanted to stop being nice. I started being an asshole, when this was not me at all. But I knew that I had to stop being so damn nice. I knew this is something that turns off women. So I started reading books, and looking for info on the Internet about how to attract women. I was hearing about all of the bullshit about pretty much be a douchebag, and I was eating it up. So this was a period where I was trying to change my personality. I'll have to say, it was hard being an asshole. I'm generally a nice person, and it's not in my nature. So I would say that the first in my journey was to find out who I am. I had alot of insecurities, so being nice was my way of masking it. I know we all hate when a girls says your so nice, and all that bullshit that he's my friend. That shit pissed me the hell off. So you can imagine being a generally nice person, then adding my insecurities, then you just had a bowl of mess. So I knew I had to change something, but I didn't change my personality. I thought I was just boring, and I didn't have alot to offer, so any woman that would give me any attention, I would kiss her feet. But I knew I had alot to offer, and I had to stop pleasing people and have women earn my respect. And this should apply in all aspects of life. So lets just say I tweaked my personality, and had the idea that I didn't care what people think of me. And then I got into the notion that you know, women are just going to reject you for various of reason. So I shouldn't get so caught up in getting reject, and I just needed to put myself out there. If you fall, just get right back up, and go find another. There's one out there for me. This worked wonders for me mentally, and I would say was a key step in my weight loss journey, because I had to learn a thing or too. I decided I was gonna be who I am, but be a stand up man. I'm a nice guy, and that's who I am. But a woman has to earn my niceness. Listen, I never really had a male figure in my life. I knew my dad, and I talked to him alot, and he loves me alot, and I love him too. But I didn't know how to be man, and approach this world. My mom, bless her heart, couldn't teach me that. She was a very devout Christian, and grew up heavily in the church. So you can imagine how much impact it had on me. To be honest, I hated church. I never felt the what the big hoopla was all about, but I went with the motions, but I can say I was definitely a god fearing christian growing up, but was not to christian-like things, which messed me up. But as I grew up, I started to drift away from Christianity, and understood that you don't need to find God through the church. This is a subject I will touch on from time to time in the future, because this did have a profound impact on my life and in my weight loss journey. But anyways, like I was saying, I had to learn alot of things on my own. Then I started to realize that my mother didn't instill me with good eating habits. Not blaming her, but I wish she instilled me with calorie counting, because if I knew that then, I wouldn't be what I am now, trying to lose weight. So with this soul searching period, I changed for the better, and I can say that period really helped in for me, and it did pay dividends. I definitely am a social butterfly. I love going out with friends, and partying. But still didn't know what to do about the women issue. I made major changes mentally, but I was a more confident man, and at this point, I wasn't getting over my nervousness of women, and was better at carrying on a conversation. But still, there was some other insecurities that I had to get over.

Not only was I insecure about me, and who I am, I was definitely insecure sexually. I know this is a touchy subject, and it's even hard for me to talk about, but I'm doing this to help you Big Dawg. Now, there's alot of us when it comes to penis size, they're showers and growers. Look it up, and you can find out more. But lets say I'm a big grower. What this means is that given that my penis is not to impressive on soft, on hard, I'm alot better than average. But I was so insecure about it, all I could see was my soft penis, even though I was doing fine on hard. So you can imagine what toll this took on me mentally, being overweight with a small soft penis. I really believe I couldn't satisfy a woman. But I knew I had to get over this. Because I want to meet a woman who could one day have my kids. I really want kids, and want to have kids with the right woman, so knew this was an important step to get over. So lets go over my sexual history for a second. In high school, I didn't care too much for some reason, but was still mindful. I can count the girls on my hand that I had sex with, but I did hook up with some alot, but never got to the getting off the pants part. And in SB, I didn't do anything, and college, I had a girlfriend once, and we had sex once, and it was like for a few minutes, and she or I didn't cum. It was soon after, we broke up. I'm sure it was I was so terrible in bed, but in my mind, I thought it was definitely my size. So my confidence was shot. But even before that, a year before college, I had some wild sex with some chick to this day, I couldn't tell you who she was. But it was cool, because I just figured that I was the smallest thing she's ever seen, and that was that, but the sex was good for me. So since 2000, I'd had sex with 2 chicks. So that's about 8 freaking years. I was getting frustrated. So I had to do something. So what did I do, hit up the Internet and do some research (on another note, the Internet has changed my life. I was able to look up alot of information to help me in my journey. I'm forever grateful to it). It had to see if there's anyone out there with my same problem. I found alot of info, and it did the obvious thing to do, and measure my penis to see where I stack up. It's crazy what the mind does to you, and your self image, because I couldn't believe what I was reading. After doing measurements, I found out that I was very well endowed when it came game time. Like better the 65% of the world population. So I had to tell my self that I was indeed capable of pleasing a women, and had to get over it. So I decided to just go ahead and dive in. And I hate to say this, but it's only human nature to hear about other people's problems, and feel better about yourself, because I would read about some sizes and say damn. But what you learn is that no matter how you hang, it's all good. All a woman needs is stamina, and a man who knows what they're doing. But anyways, like anything you would like to do, and get better at, you had to start doing it. I was lucky at this time to catch the eyes of this chick. I this time, I dropped down to around 265, and feeling little better about myself. This leads in to my motivation for wanting to drop the weight. I LIKE HOT CHICKS! Don't we all? I don't want to settle for someone just because that's the best I can get. And when I think about it, I can remember for years, I could of had sex with some less than stellar woman, but I was just so damn picky, and didn't want to lower my standards. How does that sound, I'm the one who doesn't want to lower my standards, and I'm asking these hot chicks to do it for me. I was pretty lucky in high school to get some pretty good tail. I was the captain of the football team, and I was dating the really hot head cheerleader. So my standards were high. I had to get real with myself, because if I want to make my way up back to the majors, I'm gonna have to practice with some minor leaguers if you know what I mean. So like I was saying, caught the eye of this chick, and she was down. She was OK, but not something I would be drawn to, but I was like fuck it. I had to dive in, and put some training wheels before I can ride the bike. So even though I was scared as shit, and thought I was be terrible, when I pulled it out for the first time in years, she said my penis was perfect! It was the first thing she said. Do you know how much that did for my confidence? Then we ended having great sex, and I did better than I expected. I think the years of watching porn, and "studying" finally paid off. So after that, I was feeling real good, just got a huge monkey off my back. So I was thinking, I was back in the game. I was looking at women differently. So this was an important process in my journey, getting over my sexual security.

So when 2008 comes around, and I can say this was a defining year in my journey. I landed the job in late 2007, and was feeling good about 2008. This is when I started feeling very insecure about my body. I was committed to do something about it. This is when I went through my soul searching that I just talked about. In the early part of the year, I wasn't worried too much about the rejection. I was a changed man mentally, and I wasn't going to let it get to me anymore, but everyone has their breaking point, and it came from two women. I started working out, and looking at changing my diet. Toward mid year in 2008, I decided one thing I could do is drop soda, and switch to diet. I loved soda, and this something i knew I had to do. It was unnecessary calories, and I told myself I will learn to like diet soda. I never liked it, but I consciously changed it. I also tried to cut down on my eating too, but there was too many foods that I liked. Even though it helped in my nutrition, I think that just kept me stagnant at my weight which was dancing around 265-270. But another thing that gave made me want to do something about it was that damn Facebook and Myspace. I hated looking at my pictures, and still do to this day, because I always looked fat. And I hated that everyone would be able to see my fat ass. And as it got more popular, more and more of my friends wanted to take pictures for their pages, and I would oblige, because I didn't want to be rude, and I definitely didn't want to tell them that I don't want pictures of me up for the whole to see me. So I would see constant updates of how I was looking. In the past, I had the "luxury" of not having to see myself often, since Facebook and Myspace started to get popular during the middle of my college years. But now, I thank them for forcing me to accept reality. I need to get in shape. But in mid 2008, I met this fine woman, and I was really trying to lock it down. She was so hot, and she was really feeling me, and I was feeling the same towards her. But this was before I got over my sexual insecurities, so I didn't approach it in the right way. We dated, for a couple months, but wasn't anything in stone, but I liked for what it is at the time. I was so insecure sexually, I wasn't trippin about having sex with her yet. I was just happy to have this hot chick on my side when we went out. But I was getting to the point were I wanted to be together officially, and I really wanted to have sex with her. She was kinda iffy on the whole thing, and I was definitely putting myself out there, and looking stupid. This was abou the time an event happened that was change my life, and it was a good thing. For years and years, I've always heard about was this event, Reggae on the River, and wanted to go for years. But the stars were aligned for this year. I had a great job, so I could definitely afford it, and I was planning for months with friends to go. But this girl I was talking about came in to my life, and I wanted to do something for her. I decided that I wanted to go do an weekend excursion in Monterey. If you never been there, it is a very beautiful city, and very romantic. I would love to get married there some day. But I definitely wanted to spend it with a special someone. So I was gonna flake on my friends, and do the weekend thing with this girl. I knew I couldn't afford to do the weekend thing, and go to this event, so I made a choice. But in retrospect, everything happens for a reason. Since I knew the event was a event where you wanna try to look your best in the least possible clothes, I started to increase my bodyweight excersises, and was getting trying to look as best as I can for the event. So just before the event, the girl told me she didn't want to go, and was backing out. I was devastated, so me being pissed as hell, I decided to the event. Before I went, I was definitely a novice reggae fan. I appreciated the music, but never really got in to it. But this event, and reggae music has changed my life forever. I would always say do a musical event like this. You go into the middle of nowhere, with thousands of people around, positive energy, and the most amazing musical performances I've ever seen. This event changed my life for many of reasons. This music gave me a consciousness of self respect, and being yourself. And for some reason, when I hear this music, I can't stop moving. I've always loved dancing, and was pretty good at it, but reggae music really brought out of me. I enjoyed the music and it changed my life, and now, a very advt reggae fan. But I can say, besides the cruise, this was my first even where I wish I was in shape and could take off my shirt. There were some fine looking women there, and wish I had the the body some of my friends had. Since I was having such a great time, and planned on coming to this event every year for a long time, I told my self by this time next year, I was gonna be in alot better shape.

So after this event, this were things with this girl got interesting. So after toying with me for a while, and she telling me for a few weeks she really liked me, and me catching deep feelings for her, she dropped a bomb on me, and told me she was dating someone else, and was gonna roll with that guy. She pretty much told me she was not attracted to me. This was profound to me, and I went into deep depressive state at this point. It was finally enough, and I had to deal with it this is when I started working out, and eating better. I actually starved myself for a little bit, because I was so pissed, and was ready to lose the weight fast. I started doing a training with boxing. My nutrition wasn't has keen as it is now, but I was definitely losing some weight, and was determined. I dropped down to the 255-260 range. Towards the end of 2008, this was when I got the over the sexual hurdle, and was ready to take 2009 on.

My Journey Part 1

As you can see from my first post, I have a total man crush on Muata LOL. But again, I suggest that you go to his site, because of the abundance of inspiration articles, and great info. But mainly, he's a average joe, who was like alot of us, but decided to do something about it. This "Journey' that he talks about a lot is so true, and losing weight is a journey to a better you. But there has to be a lot of soul searching within a individual to decide to take this journey. It's all in the mind. Mind over matter is a statement that I love. With that said, I want break down my life in different stages for you, and I'm sure a lot of you can relate too. I apolgize, this series is quite lengthy, but I don't want to leave anything out. This is also apart of my process of weight loss, which is reflection.

Early Childhood - 1980-1994

My early childhood, I would classify as typically normal. Had a loving mother, father, and brother. Definitely had some things that impacted my life as a child, but life is life. I would say a defining moment in my life is when my father left, but I was not an angry kid. But I look back, and think how things could of been different if my father was around when I was a teen, because teen males especially needed a dominant male figure in their lives to help shape them, and put them on the right path. But that's another story. What I want to get with is my issues of being a fat kid. And we all know kids can be ruthless. I was teased heavily, and it sucked. I would come home crying at times, because of the teasing, but didn't have any idea what to do about it. I was a pretty active kid though, and it wasn't until I let go of my baby fat, and lots of fists fights, that I started to get more respect amongst my peers. I was a pretty active kid growing up, and was pretty athletic for my pudgy size. But I started to play my first love...baseball. And this was what gave me a lot of self confidence at my size. I started getting leaner, and I was definitely getting more attention from the girls. I sucked when I first started, but I stuck with it, and became a pretty damn good baseball player. In middle school, I guess you would classify me as one of the cool kids. I even became President of our student council. This was good times for me, but still, I did have insecurities about my weight, since even though I did lean out, I still had the bain of my existence. My belly fat. I hate that thing to this day, but as time is going on, I'm starting to understand that my long friend is gonna be gone sometime soon. But anyways, times were good, and I was entering high school with a lot of confidence. But this confidence would be short lived.

1995-2000 High School and a little beyond

In high school, I was so ready to play football. I always wanted to play pop-warner football, but I was always to heavy to play. But in high school, I was ready to smash mouths, and it felt great. But in high school, I definitely had a great time, and a lot of this self confidence was due to playing football. Like I said, I was very athletic for my size. When I entered high school, I believe I was about 5'9' 205, but I was a sub 4.9 runner, and played running back and fullback. With my size a quickness, I did play DL too, and was great there, averaging about 7 sacks a season. I was very confident in myself at this time. I was active, I was getting girls, and I was having fun partying, being one of the so called 'in crowd' at my school. Well, graduation came, and it was time to go to college. And I'm sure for a lot of my Big Dawgs, this is where things went downhill. I'm from the Bay Area, and went to college in Santa Barbara where I failed miserably. I definitely wasn't eating right, but I was not paying it any mind, since I thought I would never get hella big (hella is a bay area term). I was having a lot of fun partying and wasn't paying school any attention. This led to me leaving the school after one year, and returning home. This was the beginning of my weight issues. At this time, I did not believe I really had a weight issue, and even after my first year out of high school, I was in relatively good shape. But keep in mind, I had no bearing on nutrition or excising. I was always a eat what you want type of guy. And when I mean eat, I meant anything. And especially being a broke college student, you just eat what you can, no matter how bad it is, as long as it's good, and it feels you up. And with playing football, I didn't have to worry so much about what I eat, since I was burning alot of calories in practice and games. Well this ends this chapter in life, but the next few is not as good as my early years.

2000-2005 The College Years

I know that I said that I went to college and failed and came back home. And that did happen, and I know a lot of that stress led to my weight issues. After that year in college, I came back home, and worked, and lived with my mother. But working was something I did not like doing much, and I was figuring out a way to get out of working for a while. I know I disappointed my mother, and I was disappointed in myself. I would say this was one of the first times that I decided that i was going to do something I really wanted to do. I know I failed the first time, but I wasn't ready for college at that time. But this time I was. So I decided to say forget it, and apply to a 4 year university, away from friends and distraction, so I can focus on my education. And in all honesty, the whole getting my education that was not my priority for going to college. I pretty much said that what else better do I have to do? I can work these BS jobs, or go to a four year college with plenty of girls, parties, and why not get an education while I'm at it. For any one that is wondering if they should go to college, I would say that's a good reason. I know that might seem shallow, but any reason that you can come up with to decide to go to college and get an education is a good one. But one other reason that I thought it would be good is to get that degree and impress women. Because I know women definitely like educated women, and I couldn't wait to be out of college, and being able to tell a girl that I'm a college educated man. Hopefully, that can overlook my fatness. So with that said, I got accepted to Washington State University (GO COUGS!) and was off to college. Even though college was a great time for me, it was also sad. This is where my weight issues would get out of control.

When I got to WSU, I was just salivating at the fact that this was a great party school, with alot of great looking women. But as we all know, with being fat, comes rejection from the other sex. I went through a lot in college with life issues. But still, at this time, I was not mindful of my nutrition, and to be blunt, I didn't give a shit. I just figured this was what I was gonna be, but it will be fine, because I'm such a great person. I was rejected constantly, and I was definitely scared of rejection, because I was so insecure. When I entered college, I was around 230-240. And in the dorms, we had the cafeteria, and I would just eat what I wanted, and i definitely had a taste for calorie rich foods. But it is when I moved out of the dorms, and had to provide food on my own was when I really started to get big. But of course, like alot of us Big Dawgs, we had a skewed self image. I really didn't think I was all that fat. I was definitely a strong man, and even though I had alot of fat, i had alot of muscle, and for a man that big, I didn't have crazy man boobs, and i could do push ups all day. But I thought this was good enough to attract women, but when I look at it now, I was just fat, and they could tell I was insecure about something. In college, I ballooned up to 290 (I believe at one point, I was 300), and the girls were no where in site. I was very sad in college, because with the life issues going on, my grades were being affected, and at one point, I was on academic probation. But I was very lonely, and definitely wanted to company of a fine companion. In college, I believe I got with 4 girls, and had sex with one. Compared to some of my friends, I might as well been a virgin. And this was taking a toll on my mentally, and my self confidence plummeted in college. I was eating astronomical calories, because being broke, and having a taste for calorie rich foods, I probably consumed close to 4000 calories on average a day. Those dollar Whoppers, double cheese burgers at McDonalds, Cougar Country (Cougs know what that is) and a roommate that worked at Papa Johns, was clutch for a broke college student, but I paid the toll with a massive weight gain. With everything going on, I able to graduate from college in 2005, something I was very proud to accomplish, when I could of easily felt sorry for myself and give up. And I was thinking that even though I was a lot bigger, coming back home with a college degree, I would be diving in women. But this was not so, and post college life was going to be a big wake up call for your boy. Check Part 2 out.

My First Post

I have been inspired to start a blog in hopes that maybe one person can learn/understand from my experience of being a fat boy my whole life. I have to thank Muata from Mr. Low Body Fat for giving me some inspiration for starting this, for I see this could be a good way to keep me motivated and help someone out there with issues that us as Big Dawgs face. If you haven't seen that site, I suggest, even before you read mines, take a look at it. It has alot of great info, and he is great at keeping you motivated. Muata has a series called To My Big Dawgs that is an excellent series, and gave me an idea for adding an extra spin to it. Because there are issues that us as Big Dawgs face that no who has ever been overweight or obese can understand. So many issues that we deal with because of our weight like insecurities in various forms, rejections, perceptions of people, and plain 'ol being mad at the world because of the body that we're in. So with that said, for the sake of trying to remain anonymous, lets just call me Dubs. This is not because I'm ashamed, but I just don't want to be popular for this reason. Maybe in the future, reveal myself, but for now, this is how I will remain. The next post, I'm going to dive in to my life as a overweight, and obese person, to where I'm at in my life now. More than anything at this point, this is a place for reflection for myself. I believe writing it out will help my ongoing process of becoming the very best person I can. I really hope you have the inspiration to achieve what you want out of life, because I'm a living example of it. I was just like you Big Dawg. Fat, unmotivated, insecure, rejected by countless girls, fighting perceptions of people, etc. But now, I'm a new me, and my life has changed for the better. But it was not an easy task, and it took years of soul searching, figuring out who I am as a man, and deciding to take life into my hands, stop feeling sorry for myself, and do something about it. You don't have to be trapped in that body. You are a good man, but you feel that your body prevents you from being all that you can be. I know Big Dawg all too well. But in this blog, I will address some of these issues that we deal with, along with my progression in my journey, particularly, my weight loss, which is still a journey ongoing, but getting closer to my goal. Think of this like barbershop type talk about weight loss, and issues Big Dawgs go through. Due to my expressive nature, I probably will say things to offend you, but that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to keep it real, and that's the only way I know how. I know this is a cliche, but it is so true. IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT! I'm nothing special, and I'm not going to pretend that I'm a expert nutritionist. If you want to gain more knowledge on that, I suggest going to Mr. Low Body Fat, or Lyle McDonald's Body Recomposition site for that info. They are much better at that than me. But what I will provide is inspiration, and a point of view that I know all to well. So enjoy, and feel free to share your story too.